The Return
by Dulcinea86
Summary: How Jax finds out Tara is back...and both of their reactions. No longer a one shot (because I am weak).
1. Chapter 1

The Return

Jax

Jax swore as he raced through the familiar halls of St. Thomas Hospital. He was late for the fucking Lamaze class he had promised Wendy he would take with her. As he paced the halls, looking for pregnant women and their husbands, Jax stopped himself.

_Find someone who can help_, he thought as he looked around,_ Because you have already been down this hall._

Jax waked to the nearest nurses' station.

"Excuse me, can you tell me where the Lamaze class is?" he said, smiling at the nurse. The nurse flushed and nodded, standing and saying, "I can take you there."

He winked gratefully, knowing she was prolonging their interaction. He was bored with women's fascination in his pretty face mixed with his bad boy persona. They all stammered and stuttered whenever he was around. He would love to meet a serious woman, but unfortunately he was married to an unstable, recovering drug addict. He currently had enough on his plate.

The nurse took him to the elevators, then down three corridors. Thank God he had asked, because he never would have made it on his own.

After thanking the flustered nurse, Jax smiled apologetically as he entered the room. This wasn't his first time being late to a class. It was just his style. Fortunately Jax didn't seem to have missed much as they were going over a pamphlet regarding the other classes offered at the hospital.

As he sat behind Wendy on the floor, he knew with certainty that he wouldn't be doing this shit again. Wendy could learn how to breathe on her own.

As the teacher droned on about the importance of her class, another couple walked in the class late, smiling apologetically like Jax had. Jax shot them a reassuring smile and as they walked to take their seat Jax glimpsed out the door to the hallway at a group of approaching nurses and doctors.

Just as he was about to focus on Wendy and the instructor once more, he heard it..._that_ laugh. It was like tinkling bells to his ears and every hair on his body stood to attention. Jax craned his neck so he could look out into the hall and spotted her as the group shifted and revealed among the group of doctors and nurses.

She looked so...grown up. At home in her scrubs. Comfortable in her skin. Tara tied her scrub cap on, clearly getting ready to go into surgery.

Tara had done it then. She was a doctor. Jax wondered what kind of doctor she was as he watched his high school sweetheart smile up at the doctor who was making her laugh. She looked even more beautiful than she had when they were sixteen. Fuller, wiser...worldlier. He was intrigued all over again and wanted to learn everything about her.

Her brown hair was long, sleek and shiny. Her eyes...he had never seen any match to their unique green color...like gold and green mixed together. Jax remembered staring into those eyes wondering which it was...gold...or green? He honestly couldn't tell. _What the hell did her license say_, he wondered.

"Mr. Teller?" the instructor called, loudly, clearly not the first time she had called for his attention. But he couldn't give it to her. Jax was too focuses on the woman who had stolen...and broken his heart almost twelve years ago.

As his name was spoken loudly, Tara's head jerked up and she looked around until their eyes met. Hers shocked...his..._what was he_? Happy? Confused? Turned on after seeing his sexual muse in the flesh after ten long years?...all of the above?

Tara composed herself, looking down at her sneakers to clear her expression. She had never been very good at it before, so it was no surprise that she couldn't now. Tara looked up and met his gaze and he was frozen. Would she ignore him? Pretend she hadn't seen him? Acknowledge him and walk on?

Wendy elbowed him in the ribs and turned, clearly pissed that he wasn't paying attention. She then followed his gaze and fury danced across her features. She placed her hands on her belly and scowled in Tara's direction. Tara looked a little surprise as she realized what she was looking in on. The pregnant woman and Lamaze instructor...Jax watched as it all clicked into place.

Tara's eyes shot back to Jax's, shocked, but after a few seconds gave him a small smile before refocusing on her group...disappearing as they rounded the corner.

Jax's heart was beating frantically and he felt like he had taken a drug that gave him an intense high, followed by a crushing low.

Her smile said _'Congratulations' _and _'I'm happy for you'._

What Tara didn't know was that Jax was married, but incredibly unhappy...and lonely. What she didn't know was that he had a baby on the way, but it wasn't one he wanted...or ready for, no matter how many Lamaze or birthing classes he took.

"What is she doing back?" Wendy hissed to him, narrowing her eyes as she studied him.

Jax shrugged in what he hoped was a nonchalant way and focused on the Lamaze instructor. He prayed that by listening to the instructor, Wendy would drop it and not make a scene. He glanced down at her and her eyes were focused on where they had last seen Tara.

Jax brushed her hair away from her face and smiled down at hers. She gave him a small smile in return even though she seemed a little sad. And afraid. Jax had never been a good husband to Wendy. But it didn't mean he didn't care about her.

Jax inclined his chin to the instructor to draw Wendy's attention back to her. He needed some privacy so he could process Tara's return and he couldn't do it with Wendy watching him, looking for any indication that it affected him like it did.

Wendy focused back on the instructor after a final glance at him. Jax knew he couldn't allow himself to lose control on the walls just because she was back. He had built walls..._high_ walls when Tara had left. He couldn't let her knock them down.

Jax was a VP now for Samcro. More invested than he had been when she had left. Tara had always worried about his future with Samcro...always wondering about the danger and other bad shit that he would be doing the longer he was in. Well now he was in the thick of it.

Tara ran for the hills as a prospect...she would never...could never handle what he did day to day now. Jax hated the feeling of disappointment he felt as that truth sunk in.

Tara

Tara scrubbed out, the usual rush of exhilaration dampened by the mini freakout that was brewing inside her after seeing Jax. She had been back three and a half weeks and she wondered how long it would be until she and her high school sweetheart came face to face.

That wasn't how she had seen it happening though. Jax and...his _wife _in a Lamaze class...it was so surreal! Tara tried to remember her name…but it wouldn't come to her. She had gone to high school with Jax and Tara, but it had been so long that Tara couldn't remember.

Tara looked down at her now red hands. She had scrubbed too hard and too long. She pitched the surgical bar of soap and dried her hands. Tara pulled her scrub cap off and leaned against the sink as she contemplated her feelings about seeing Jax.

Tara had to admit it hurt to see him. He looked the same. Her beautiful rebel. He looked a little fuller...more muscular. And he seemed like he had seen things...things she wasn't sure she wanted to know about.

But Jax was different in all the ways that mattered...he was married now. With a baby on the way. She realized he wasn't her rebel anymore. He was another woman's husband and a future father.

As Tara walked out of the scrub room, her shoulders slumped as she felt a small, sentimental part of her heart break. After she had left Charming, Jax had stayed in her heart. She always thought maybe someday….

Well, that day would never come now. She pursed her lips, fighting tears as that sunk in. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. If she walked out into the waiting room with tears in her eyes, the family would panic. She cleared her face and put the most reassuring smile on her face as she rounded the corner.

The family stood and Tara walked towards them, converting her medical terms to ones the family could understand as she walked them through the surgery. As she walked them through it, the elevator pinged and out walked Jax Teller.

Tara froze, hoping that if she stayed still he wouldn't notice her sitting here. Jax spotted her, smirking at her face and walked towards the empty nurses' station and leaned against it, clearly waiting for her.

She sighed and refocused on her patient's family. She needed to get through this.

Tara was able to finish answering all their questions and explain the details of the surgery in detail without glancing at Jax once, despite the fact that it felt like he was burning holes in the side of her face. After she finished explaining the follow up treatment plan, Tara smiled at the parents once more and walked slowly towards Jax.

"Dr. Knowles, I presume?" Jax said with a smirk.

Tara chuckled and nodded, "You presume correct..._Vice President _Teller," she said, glancing at the patch on his cut.

Jax smiled blankly and looked at her a moment before asking, "So how long have you been back?"

"About a month," Tara said, looking down at her shoes as she avoided his gaze.

"Wow," Jax said in a quiet voice, "Were you ever going to let me know you were back in town?"

"Not if I could avoid it," Tara said sheepishly, smirking, "I wanted to avoid this awkward conversation."

Jax nodded in understanding and said, "So…"

"So," Tara responded, leaning against the nurses' station, "Congratulations are in order. A wife and baby."

As she watched Jax, she could see the walls...they were built up and sturdy. The Jax standing before her was guarded and wasn't letting anyone in...especially her. She saw just how far gone the boy she fell in love with and left behind was now...

Jax smiled and nodded, responding, "Thanks. Wendy and I are separated, but...thanks."

Tara nodded, not knowing how to respond. Oh God this was terribly awkward! _Why had he come?_

"You married?" he asked, his eyes on hers, "Any kids?"

Tara shook her head and said, "I...timing was never right. And I was so busy with residency and fellowships."

Jax nodded, smiling a triumphant smile that made Tara want to slap it off. _Yes, I didn't move on and settle down like you...ass!_

Tara looked down and wondered how she could leave without it being obvious she was fleeing the scene.

"I am glad," Jax whispered. Tara's surprised eyes jumped to his and he looked almost bashful about his admission. Tara smirked and asked, "Why?"

He just shrugged and Tara flushed in response as he smirked at her, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Well, I better-"

"Go?" he asked in a husky voice, "Yeah I thought you might."

Tara looked at him, wondering what he meant by that. Was he still sore over her leaving? Jesus, it had been _ten _years ago. And by now, he should understand why she left.

Tara decided to leave it...this was one subject she didn't want to start with him.

"You probably have club business to get back to," she replied, not knowing what else to say. She turned on her heel and began to walk away.

"Tara," Jax called out, walking towards her. Tara looked at him, her heart fluttering nervously.

Tara nervously backed up a step as he stopped in front of her. It didn't go unnoticed by Jax. A look shadowed his features, but he said, "I am...glad that you are back."

_What_? She nodded and smiled, before saying, "See you around." Jax smiled and she turned on her heel and walked away once more.

As she walked away, she felt his eyes on her the entire way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone! Okay, so I got a lot of messages and some reviews asking me to continue this one shot...I wasn't sure how to do it, but then I brainstormed all weekend and wrote this. I hope you all enjoy it. It will be a trilogy, so only one more chapter after this one. I want to focus on the other stories I am writing for these two. So if you haven't already, check those out and let me know what you think. **

**Enjoy and please review or message me. It means the world to me!**

The Return

Chapter 2

Tara

Tara stood out a nurses' station, completing her charts for the night. It had been a long, busy day. And she was tired, and ready to get back to her dad's old place.

She rubbed the back of her neck, trying to make sense of her own notes and Dr. Nameed's. The man was a genius, but he had abysmal handwriting. She squinted at the chart, trying to make out certain medical terms when someone called for her.

"Dr. Knowles, you are here late," Margaret Murphy said, walking to Tara with a smile on her face.

Tara smiled and looked back down at her nearly finished chart and said, "Just finishing up. Only a few finishing touches."

Margaret smiled and was about to say something when a man approached. He was good looking. A serious man.

"Margaret I left the paperwork on the conference room table. We will get it all settled," the man said kindly, glancing at Tara.

"Thank you, Peter," Margaret said, "Dr. Knowles, this is Peter Rosen. He assists the hospital with our malpractice suits on occasion."

Tara extended her hand and smiled, "Dr. Tara Knowles."

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Knowles," Peter said, smiling at her.

Tara smiled and nodded and was about to turn back to her chart, but he interrupted her actions by asking, "What kind of medicine do you practice, Dr. Knowles?"

"Please, call me Tara. I'm a surgeon, a neonatal and perinatal specialist," Tara said.

Peter whistled, impressed and Tara flushed. She was really proud of her accomplishments.

"Hopefully I won't need your services, Mr. Rosen," Tara said, smirking.

He chuckled and nodded, "Not legal anyways. And call me Peter, Tara."

Tara flushed, her eyes shooting to Margaret who looked flustered and uncomfortable for being there._ Oh God_, she was getting hit on...was she ready for this? She had just started to feel stable after everything that happened with Josh.

Peter smiled at her and turned to Margaret, "Margaret, call me once you have a chance to go over the paperwork."

Margaret nodded and looked to Tara impressed. Tara impressed everyone it seemed.

"He is _very _eligible bachelor here in Charming," Margaret said with a small, amused smile.

"I am not really dating right now" Tara said, turning back to her chart. She wasn't dating.

"Not now, but maybe soon," Margaret said, smirking before walking away.

Tara watched her go before focusing back on her chart and continuing her translation. Was she ready to date again? In _Charming_? That would be so weird.

She got through a few more notes, her mind elsewhere though. She knew why she was hesitant...there were a couple reasons, actually. One, Josh had _really _fucked her up physically and mentally. She was just getting back on her feet from that.

The second reason...she didn't know how to be in a relationship in Charming when it wasn't with Jax. It felt weird.

_He's married_, she told herself, _He has a baby on the way...he has moved on! Why can't you? _

Tara reminded herself that Peter had just flirted with her. He hadn't asked her out. She wouldn't make it a big deal until it was one...but when someone asked her out that she was interested in, Tara felt like maybe throwing herself back out there wasn't such a bad idea.

* * *

Apparently she had made quite the impression on Peter Rosen, because as she walked in to work the next morning she was told she had a huge floral delivery from the small town attorney. She walked towards the NICU and spotted the flowers...they were gorgeous. And they smelled _so good! _

Peter had selected well. In the fragrant bouquet, the golden poppy stood out. It was the California state flower. She plucked the card from the sleeve and read:

_Tara, I was so happy to make your acquaintance last night. I want to welcome you to the state of California properly and take you out for dinner...perhaps offer you my other services. -Peter_

Tara flushed as she read the card a second time. _Other services_...she smirked. _Cocky bastard,_ she thought.

Tara took the flowers to her office and set them on her desk, smelling them once more.

She plunked down at her desk and tapped the card on the desktop, wondering what she should do. Wasn't it too fast? It kind of felt like that.

Tara rubbed her forehead. She had come back to Charming for a couple of reasons. She wanted protection, but if she was honest with herself, she had also come back for him. For Jax. He was a big unanswered question for her.

But that question had been answered. Jax wasn't available to her anymore. He had already started a family without her. The thought was like a punch in the stomach. But it was the motivations she needed.

Tara looked at the Peter's card. Inside he had put his business card with his cell phone scrawled in on the bottom.

Tara picked up the phone and called the number.

"Rosen," he said in greeting.

Tara smirked and responded, "Knowles."

"I wondered if you would call, Dr. Knowles," Peter said. Tara swore she could hear that cocky smile over the phone.

"Well, I have good manners. I called to thank you for the flowers. They were beautiful," Tara said, smiling.

"Good manners, eh?" Peter asked, "Can I see if your table manners match your social manners? Will you take me up on the date?"

Tara looked down at her desk, and then glanced back to the flowers. They really were beautiful. And maybe...maybe getting out there would help her to get in dating mode. And Peter was really nice and fun so far...and he was a lawyer.

_But…_

"How about this?" Peter said, breaking into her cons list, "How about you come with me to a barbeque?"

Tara smiled and said, "Can a barbeque really be classified as a date?"

"Hey! I offered steak, wine, candles...the whole shebang but you got weird on me. Now all you get is burgers and hotdogs, Knowles. Take it or leave it."

Tara chuckled and Peter said, "Just kidding. If you still want the steak, wine, and candles that offer is still on the table too."

Tara smiled and shook her head. If they could have this much fun on the phone, maybe a date wouldn't be so bad. But she wasn't ready for the fancy date night…

"Barbeque it is," Tara said, smiling, "When is this barbeque?"

Tara got the details from Peter. Day after tomorrow. Apparently it was a town event and all proceeds went to charity. She was liking the barbeque idea more and more.

Jax

Jax sighed as he heaved the large tray of ribs and steaks into the back of the van. Gemma was screaming about hurrying the hell up, that they needed to be early to set up. Fuck this barbeque, he thought to himself as he began to haul hamburger patties and hot dogs into the van.

Opie came up beside him with cases of pop, water, and beer.

"Opie, get the lemonade mixes from the kitchen. Jax, the buns," Gemma ordered, looking everything over to make sure she had everything.

They had started this barbeque five years ago to earn some positive club clout to the people of Charming. At the time, it had seemed like a good idea, but now it was a pain in the ass. And it gave Gemma an opportunity to be an even bigger control freak than she already was.

Jax walked out with the buns, Styrofoam plates, napkins, cups, and utensils. He looked around the lot and smirked at the club members and their old ladies scurrying around to complete Gemma's task. Everyone was in on this today.

Jax wondered if he should call Wendy to see if she was coming, but decided against it. They had fought again and Jax hadn't seen or heard from her in a week.

"Jax, take this load when you are ready and come back here after to get cleaned up and ready. I will have Opie and Tig help me with setup," Gemma said, handing him the van keys.

Jax nodded, grabbing the keys and driving the stuff through Charming to the town square.

He dropped the stuff off quickly and drove through town. He couldn't help but drive by Tara's like he had when he was a kid. This habit had stuck with him since he was sixteen. Even after she left, he would find his rides to the clubhouse taking a little longer than they should because...he didn't even know why.

Now that she was home though...when he would see the lights on inside, he would smile and wonder what she was doing. Whenever Jax came around when they were kids, he had always come to Tara's door to find her studying, her nose in book. But now...what was she doing in there? Watching TV? Reading? He wanted to know.

Jax arrived back at the clubhouse and showered and walked out into the back apartment to get dressed. He rubbed the towel over his hair, looking at the picture that had been on the mirror since his mother had taken it. Him and Tara, sixteen on his first bike. He smiled a small smile at the picture.

That day...his first bike with Tara...it had been the best day of his life.

Jax finished getting dressed and headed over to the barbeque. He was shooting the shit with Bobby and Opie when he spotted her...only she wasn't alone.

Tara

Tara climbed out of Peter's fancy sports car and walked around it. She glanced up at the sign and her heart dropped.

_**Fifth Annual SOA Barbeque- Food, Beer, Fun!**_

Tara stopped dead in her tracks and Peter met her at the front of his car. He was in jeans and a button down shirt. He looked casual, but polished. Tara pointed to the sign and said, "We aren't going to this barbeque, right? The Sons' sponsored barbeque?"_ Since when did they do this? _Tara wondered_...Duh, five years ago, dummy._

Peter chuckled and said, "I thought you said you went to med school. Guess I was wrong for assuming you were smart. I brought you here because the Sons are my clients."

Tara shot him a look and he said, "I know they have a bad rep, but they do a lot of good in the community. And they haven't been tied to anything serious in years."

"Yeah, because you get them off," Tara murmured, rubbing her forehead as she thought about what to do. Should she tell him? For God's sake, it was their first date...that was a little early to talk about past relationships.

Peter chuckled at her sarcasm and said, "It will be fun, I promise." _Oh you have no idea_...Tara thought, biting her lower lip.

"Look, Peter...I don't think this is a goo-"

"Tara?"

Tara turned and stopped short when she spotted Gemma and...what was her name again...Lucy? Lorraine? Luanne! Luanne was her name.

" Hi, Luanne. Gemma," Tara said, trying to hide the nervous shake in her voice.

Gemma's gaze was...icy didn't cover it. If Gemma put those eyes to good use, arctic ice caps wouldn't be melting and polar bears wouldn't be drowning.

"Hello Gemma," Peter said pleasantly, not picking up on the tension as he hugged her, "So good to see you. This is quite the event you put together."

"You too, honey," Gemma said, distracted.

"You've met Dr.-" Peter began, but was interrupted by Gemma.

"Tara Knowles," Gemma finished, her tone full of barb, "All grown up."

Peter definitely felt it now as he took his place beside Tara once more.

Luanne looked between Gemma and Tara before, grabbing Gemma's arm and saying, "Hope to see you in there." Luanne practically dragged Gemma off with her and Tara and Peter were left staring after them.

"What did you do?" Peter asked, once they were out of earshot.

Tara cringed, not wanting to tell him, but needing to. He needed to know what he was walking into now, especially since he was close with the Tellers and the club.

"I dated her son in high school. Didn't end well," Tara said vaguely, not wanting to get into the finer details.

Peter chuckled and asked, "Jax?"

Tara nodded, looking at him in surprise, "You know Jax?"

"I am the club attorney," Peter said, shrugging as if it was obvious, "I know all the members." So he had been in trouble...that was another reason she had ran.

Tara nodded and sighed. Of course...the first guy she goes out with has to be connected to Jax and the club. She knew this was a bad idea. From now on, Tara was hiding in her dad's house and never dating again.

"Look," Tara began again, "I really don't think this is a good idea. Especially for you. It will put you in an uncomfortable and awkward situation."

Peter looked at her for a minute and then towards the barbeque where Gemma and Luanne had disappeared. He seemed lost in thought and Tara backed up and said, "I think you should go in and I will just walk. My place isn't far from here."

"I still want you to come with me," Peter said, stepping towards her again.

Tara looked up at him in shock. Did he know what he was doing? He was risking pissing off the club.

"The damage is already done," Peter said, "Gemma has probably already got it spread that we are here and together...why not enjoy ourselves at least."

Tara looked uneasy. Peter stepped even closer and said, "Come on Tara. I'll buy you a funnel cake."

She leaned against the hood of the car and thought about it. She looked up and it was like a sign..._Wendy_. Wendy was walking towards the barbeque with her slightly distended belly. She was maybe three months.

Tara smirked and said, "Funnel cake?" as she looked back at Peter.

He nodded and Tara laughed and said, "How can I say no to that?"

Peter beamed and grabbed her hand, leading her in. She felt dread at the possible awkward and tense evening ahead of her, but she brushed it off.

She didn't belong to Jax. Wendy did.

Jax

Jax seethed as he lit a cigarette. He clenched his teeth as he watched Tara and Peter having a beer and sharing a funnel cake. Tara seemed oblivious to him and it pissed him off even more.

Why did she come here? To flaunt it? And what the hell was Rosen thinking? Surely someone had filled him in on their history…

Jax scowled, taking a drag off his cigarette before putting it out angrily.

"Hey baby."

Jax spun to see his mom glancing towards Tara and Peter.

"How you doing with that?" she asked, running her hands through his hair.

Jax just shrugged, "Not together. Haven't been for a while."

Gemma raised an eyebrow and said, "Sell that to someone who is buying it."

Jax smirked and said, "I am fine."

She nodded and said, "Wendy's here."

Jax nodded and looked around for his pregnant wife...his pregnant wife...no wonder Tara was here with another guy.

Why was he so worked up about this? Tara hadn't been a part of his life for a while. Seeing her with someone else shouldn't bother him this much.

_But it did…._

Jax glanced back to the couple to find them gone. He looked around for them, spotting them at the grill, ordering food.

Jax couldn't look away, even though he knew he should.

"Jax," Gemma said firmly, sitting next to him. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Tara who was laughing at something Peter Rosen said..._son of a bitch_, Jax thought about Rosen.

"Jax," Gemma said, turning his head to look at her. Jax tore his gaze from his to look into the alarmed face of his mother, "Don't do this. Please. Tara...she isn't good for you. And she isn't good for the club."

Jax jerked his chin from her grasp and seethed, "I know."

"Do you? It looks like she has her strings still in you," Gemma spat.

Jax clenched his jaw and shot his mother a warning look. He hadn't heard Gemma talk about Tara in a long time and was surprised to find it still really pissed him off. More so now that he was an adult and not a teen.

"You are married...you have a baby on the way," Gemma reminded him. As if he could forget.

"I know," he repeated, glancing towards Tara.

"Leave her alone," Gemma said in a gentler tone, "It's good that she is trying to move on."

_Then why did she come back? _Jax wondered as he watched Peter grab her hand and walk back to one of the picnic tables.

Jax only nodded in response to Gemma and sipped at his beer. He had too much shit going on in his life to worry about Tara.

Gemma patted his cheek lovingly and stood saying, "I'll grab you something to eat."

Jax thanked her and watched her walk off before refocusing on Tara. She looked beautiful. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a feminine tank top. Her hair was partially tied back in loose curls. Her skin glowed, but not from makeup. It was just something she naturally possessed.

Jax watched as Peter pushed a loose tendril back from her face and Tara blushed. Rage...that was what this emotion was...his chest was tight with it. And pain. He wanted her. Felt like she still was his, even though she hadn't been for a while.

Jax looked down at the picnic table to temper his anger and hurt.

"Hey, baby."

_Jesus, couldn't people leave him the hell alone?_

Jax looked up to Wendy, standing with her hands on her belly. Christ, it was bigger than the last time he had seen her. What was she now? Three months? Four? He couldn't remember.

"Jesus, Wendy, you...he's getting big," Jax said, nodding to her stomach.

Wendy smiled and nodded, running her hands over the bump.

"Yeah," she murmured, smiling, "I picked a name."

Jax looked up at her in surprise. _A name_?

"Abel," she said and even Jax had to admit...it was a good name. Abel Teller.

He nodded and said, "I like it."

Wendy beamed excitedly and sat next to him.

"I was hoping you would come home?" she asked, nervously, "We could try to make this work Jax. For Abel."

Jax sighed, shaking his head lightly.

Wendy had been an attempt at a solution to end his feelings of loneliness. He hadn't connected to a woman in ten years...not since Tara. And he thought maybe by marrying Wendy, it would change things for him. End his loneliness. Force him to forget her.

But he didn't forget Tara. All it did was legally bind him to a woman he didn't love and bring guilt for being a shitty husband. He even did to Wendy what he did to them all….he would imagine Tara.

"Jax," Wendy said, her tone pleading, "Our son...he needs a family."

"He will have one Wendy," Jax said, irritated, "Whether we are together or not, Abel will _always _have a family."

Wendy looked crushed and Jax sighed as he realized that Wendy wanted him for more than Abel, but he had never been able to give himself to her. Not really. Not when he already belonged to someone else.

He glanced to Tara and Peter and watched them as they talked animatedly. His stomach twisted.

He then glanced back to Wendy and said, "I don't think...I think we both know this won't work."

Wendy looked like she had been slapped in the face, before anger flashed in her eyes.

She stood and said, "You are a piece of shit."

Jax watched her storm off, knowing she expected him to come after her, but he couldn't. He couldn't chase the wrong women anymore.

Jax looked back at the only right woman and his heart panged as he remembered something she had said when they were teens. It had been an ordinary day...but then again, Tara had made every day extraordinary too. It's why he remembered every moment they had been together so vividly….

_They lay in her bed, snuggled together after having sex. He had told her he wanted to marry her._

"_We are too young!" she said, chuckling as she lightly smacked his belly in admonishment._

"_Romeo and Juliet were even younger," he pointed out, running his fingers through her hair._

"_Look how well that turned out for them," she retorted sarcastically, her eyes sparkling up at him in amusement._

_Jax smacked her butt, "You are a real smart ass, Knowles."_

_Tara laughed and they were silent for a while, lightly trailing their hands over each other, proving their love through touch and gentle caresses._

"_Someday," she whispered in the darkness as she nuzzled his chest, "Someday we will get married and have babies. I have always wanted a family."_

"_I'll be your family," he had whispered back…_

Jax wondered if she still wanted babies. He felt sick that another man could be her family. Could give her a family. Tara was his. His family. His heart...his everything.

Rosen...this couldn't happen. He wasn't going to let Tara get so close again only to get away again. She had left once...she couldn't leave him again.

He watched Peter Rosen stand, grabbing the empty bottles and Jax knew he was going to get more.

Jax stood and made his way through the crowd, following the lawyer.

"Rosen," Jax said, coming up behind him in the beer line.

"Teller," Peter said warily. He knew why Jax was there.

"So you and Tara," Jax said.

"Yeah, she told me you had history," Peter said, smiling tightly and rubbing the back of his head.

"Lots of history," Jax said, nodding..._so much history_, "She is my old lady."

Peter raised an eyebrow in surprise and asked, "She didn't tell me that."

"She is," Jax said firmly, knowing he was being challenged and not liking it.

"She told me you dated in high school and things ended badly," Peter said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Jax fought to control his temper. Rosen was now pissing him off.

"Look Jax, I don't want to cause any problems, but-"

"But _nothing_, she wears my crow," Jax spat, cutting him off. Surely Rosen had worked with the club long enough to know what that meant.

Peter's eyes widened and his eyebrows rose in surprise at Jax's statement and he stepped back a small step. _Yeah fucker_, Jax thought, _Beat that_.

"Peter?"

Jax and Peter turned to Tara, who looked uneasy as she glanced between them.

"Jax? What's going on?" she asked, sliding next to Peter, causing Jax to clench his fists.

"Nothing," Peter said gently to Tara, "Just talking."

"About our history," Jax said, illuminating Tara.

Tara's face hardened and her eyes flashed angrily at him.

"I have told Peter everything he needs to know about our history. So let's leave history where it belongs," Tara said sternly.

_Not likely, babe,_ Jax thought at her, _This is my second chance and I am not fucking around this time._

"Next!"

Peter turned and saw that the beer line had moved quickly and he was next in line. Peter ordered three beers and paid. As he passed, he handed one to Jax and said, "Good to see you, Teller."

Jax smirked..._This isn't over fucker._

Tara took Peter's hand and led him away and it took everything in Jax not to grab her and pull her to his side. He wanted to throw the beer Rosen had bought him into the back of his head.

"Hey man," Opie said, coming up next to him.

Jax just looked at Opie, knowing why he was there.

"He is our lawyer. Has even gotten you out of some pretty serious shit," Opie said.

Jax shook his head and said, "I don't give a damn."

"You will next time the club is in it," Opie said, sipping his own beer, following Jax's gaze.

Tara and Peter were talking, their expressions much more serious than they had been before.

"If he is my lawyer, then isn't this a fucking conflict of interest," Jax said through clenched teeth as Tara reached out and gently touched Rosen's arm.

"You and Tara haven't been together in ten years...and you aren't married. So no, it isn't a conflict of interest," Opie said, smirking.

Jax scowled at Opie and said, "Fuck off, whose side are you on?"

Opie only chuckled and said, "Let it go, man."

Jax was silent. He didn't admit it to his mother, but he told Opie everything.

"I can't," Jax admitted in a quiet voice only Opie could hear.

**So...one more chapter where I lead into the pilot and then this story ends (I mean it this time guys! haha). Please review and let me know what you think.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone, so sorry for the long delay. I just didn't know what to do about this story. I have gotten so much feedback and messages asking me to build this story into something long and so I had to brainstorm how to do that, especially in only three chapters… I thought about a sequel...but that would kinda pointless...so my conclusion is to get rid of the three chapter rule and see where this takes me...I know I am terrible at keeping to my chapter limits!**

**Anyway, I hope this makes some of you happy. I never stopped working on this story, even though I hadn't been posting as I figured out what I wanted to do (which now I have a pretty good idea). So stay tuned and expect regular updates. Thanks for reading and thanks for all of my readers out there who are so encouraging! Y'all are the best!**

The Return

Chapter 3

Jax

Jax yawned as he waited for Rodrigo to show up for his shift at the warehouse.

He was exhausted, covering for Opie's warehouse watch rotation. Clay didn't know Jax was doing it and neither did Opie. Opie had enough shit at home going on, without the added babysitting job for the next Niner shipment of glocks and M-4s.

Jax lit a cigarette and looked over the northern California countryside. If he wasn't so scared of being ambushed by the Mayans, he would say it was peaceful up here. The hills and the stars. It reminded him of the nights Jax and Tara would slip away when they were teens and camp out under the stars...make love by firelight.

Remembering those nights...it caused an ache inside of him for her now. Tara still occupied his thoughts since the barbeque two weeks ago. Jax had been so busy making sure this delivery went down without a hitch, he didn't have time to make a plan to try and sway Tara back to him.

Jax heard the faint sound of a motorcycle in the distance and he knew it was Rodrigo coming to take over his shift.

He put out his cigarette as his phone rang.

He looked at the caller ID and sighed as he picked it up.

"Hey mom," Jax said as he watched Rodrigo pull up.

"Where are you?" she asked, hearing the motorcycle rev as Rodrigo approached him and put it in park.

"The clubhouse," Jax answered, not wanting to give himself away. Anything he told his mom went to Clay. And Clay would be pissed that Ope wasn't doing his share of the watches.

"Bullshit, I am at the clubhouse," his mother said, "And you aren't here."

Jax rolled his eyes and said, "Why are you at the clubhouse so early?"

"I gotta catch up on paperwork. Don't change the subject. Where are you? Are you with Tara?" his mother asked and Jax swore he was sixteen again.

"No," Jax said angrily. _I just wish I was, _Jax thought to himself.

"Jackson-"

"Look mom, I gotta go, I will see you later," Jax said, throwing his cigarette down and stomping it out in frustration.

"Okay, fine. Swing by the storage unit today and see what baby stuff you can use. I will go buy anything else you might need," Gemma said.

Jax told her he would as Rodrigo took in their surroundings, looking for anything amiss.

Jax hung up with his mother, checked in with Rodrigo and then climbed on his bike. It was early and Jax smiled as he rode along the deserted highway, overlooking the hillsides of northern Cali.

He rode back into Charming, wondering if he should go to the clubhouse or the house he shared with Wendy. He hadn't seen her since the barbeque...hadn't heard from her either now that he thought about it. Usually when they fought like this, he at least heard about some expensive medical shit he had to pay for by now.

Jax didn't turn towards his house, but instead drove towards the clubhouse. As he drove down Park, he took an abrupt turn on Wilshire and cruised down the street. He hated that he couldn't stay away. Hated that she still had this power over him…

Jax pulled up outside Tara's house and spotted the cutlass parked in the carport. In the driveway was a nice BMW convertible. Was that hers? Jax glanced at the license plate and he realized...that had to be Rosen's car.

Jax's chest heaved in fury and he was off his bike and at the door in seconds. He was about to pound on the door, break it down with his bare fists before a voice in his head stopped him…

_What are you doing? Tara isn't yours...and this will only piss her off and convince her you haven't changed..._

Jax slowly lowered his fist with extreme difficulty, as images of Tara and Rosen flashing through his head. He squeezed his eyes shut to block the images and took a step back from the door, almost stumbling over the step. He righted himself.

He wanted Tara. But this wasn't the way. Jax had always been hotheaded and quick to act whenever it had come to her. That was also how he had lost her. That wouldn't happen again. This time, Tara would need to come to him. And Jax had faith that Tara felt the same pull to him that he had to her.

Jax didn't know if he possessed that patience...especially when he knew Rosen was... what he and Tara were doing...

As a murderous wave crashed over him again, Jax strode with purpose to his bike and started it with a roar that echoed the rage in his heart. He couldn't help hating her in this moment. He felt so betrayed...he knew it was ridiculous. He fucked women...hundreds of women. But in his heart...he had been faithful to her.

Tara was different than Jax. When they were kids, he had taken her virginity. But she hadn't given it easily.

Tara had ingrained herself in Jax first, taking root and leaving room for nothing and nobody else. Tara had told him sex was important to her. He had joked that it was important to him too, but she had only rebuked him and told him that she saw it as something she would only ever do with someone she loved.

When they finally had sex, Jax _knew_...she _loved _him. He was loved by this special, sweet girl. And it made him special that she trusted him.

So...for her to have Rosen there...did that mean? No...it couldn't. It had only been a few weeks since they had started dating. Tara couldn't love Rosen.

Jax looked at the house as the sun began to rise. Jax wondered if Tara planned to stay in Charming. He let his bike idle a little longer across the street before kicking it in gear and heading towards the clubhouse.

Tara- _Two Weeks Later_

Tara rubbed her eyes as she sat through a surgical department meeting. Peter and Tara had been dating for almost a month now, but things were on the rocks. Even though they enjoyed each other's company, there was tension.

Peter was feeling a lot of pressure from the club regarding his relationship with her. And not just from Gemma, like Tara had predicted. But apparently from club members, including Clay. That surprised Tara. She wouldn't have thought that Clay would allow a club member's personal feelings affect business.

And Rosen was a good lawyer. He was worth every penny at $1,200/hr. Clay definitely wanted Rosen on his side and the club's.

Additionally, there were other issues. Peter wanted to know more about her and Jax's history. He knew the significance of the crow, so now he felt he was entitled to an explanation. And he wasn't pacified with her reasoning for keeping the tat either.

Most nights their dates turned into long talks going late into the night. The conversation always went in circles.

Tara wondered about the long term of this relationship. Could it get better? She really doubted it, especially if Peter wanted to keep on working for the club. Even his proximity to the club made her uneasy.

"Dr. Knowles?"

Tara jerked back to the here and now to see the departmental meeting was over. People were filing out of the room, off to their usual routines. _Crap_.

"Oh, I...sorry, I was on call last night and didn't get much sleep," Tara said, smiling apologetically.

"It's okay," Margaret said kindly, "I just asked how your morning surgery went?"

"Good," Tara said, "Dr. Namid's instruction seems to be helping my skill level." Today he had allowed her to perform a solo surgery that was extremely difficult and she had nailed it!

"Excellent," Margaret said, smiling kindly. She was about to say something else when Tara's pager blared, causing them both to jump.

Tara studied the pager and said, "Crap 911, gotta go Margaret," spinning on her heel, not waiting for a response.

Tara raced to the ER where she spotted the crowd of nurses and doctors. Right in the middle of the commotion was Dr. Namid and Dr. Walker, the obstetrician. As Tara approached, she got a bad feeling. And for good reason.

On the stretcher was Wendy Teller.

"This is going to be a premature delivery, Dr. Knowles," Dr. Namid said without looking up at her. Tara nodded and motioned for the nurse to make way so she could stand beside him. The obstetrician was barking orders for an OR and preparations for a preemie birth.

Jesus, this baby was going to be at least 8 weeks premature.

As they rushed to the OR, she called out to another nurse, "Page emergency contacts!"

One of the nurses nodded and released the gurney to complete the order.

As Tara helped prep Wendy for surgery, she noted the track marks that were hidden to the untrained eye. Between the fingers and toes..._oh God._ Poor Wendy. Poor baby. This was going to be bad.

Tara quickly noted the observation with a surgical assistant furiously noting the damages in a chart.

Tara didn't know what God she believed in...or really _what _she believed in, but she prayed to a higher power that Dr. Walker, Dr. Namid, and she had the ability to save this woman and to save the baby. Already the odds were against each scenario.

Jax

Jax's phone rang and he answered it as he recognized his mother's number.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Get to the hospital, now," Gemma said, her voice shaking.

"Are you okay?" Jax asked, already moving towards his bike.

"It's Wendy. I went over to check her and found her bleeding on the floor, unconscious," Gemma said.

"Fuck," Jax said, hanging up the phone and roaring his bike to life. Opie was already on his bike, as Jax pulled out of the lot and in his mirrors he saw other members rushing to follow him to the unknown crisis they knew existed.

Jax arrived at the hospital, Opie behind him as he rushed through the emergency room doors.

"Wendy Case," Jax barked to the nearest nurse.

The nurse, eyeing his cut with a frightened expression, looked up the patient's name and in a shaky voice said, "Intensive Care."

Jax strode towards the elevator and waited impatiently, slamming his hand on the button to make it go faster. As he waited, the other members, Clay, Tig, Bobby, and Chibs all caught up with him demanding answers.

"Something to do with Wendy and the baby," Jax grit out as he stepped onto the elevator with the rest of the club. All of them packed into the small space would have been amusing if he wasn't scared shitless.

As the elevator pinged open, his eyes found his mother, who was nervously pacing. Jax made his way towards her and then his eyes glanced past her to see Wendy in a hospital bed. She looked...Jax's stomach turned as he studied her.

Compared to the barbeque a month ago, she looked terrible. Then she had been healthy. Glowing with her pregnancy, but now...her face was ashen and...swollen somehow. A sheen of sweat coated her skin.

Jax spotted Tara with a doctor, going over a chart and Jax briefly wondered if it was about Wendy.

She looked up at him and headed his way. As she neared he asked, "What the hell happened?"

"Wendy came in unconscious, having lost a lot of blood. Cause was most likely drug overdose. We noted tracks in her hands and feet. Toxicology hasn't come back yet, but it was most likely crank," Tara said knowledgeably, "When was the last time you saw her?"

Jax wondered if she was blaming him for this and Tara immediately said, "It's for the chart...to see how long the drugs might have been in her system."

"The barbeque," Jax said, "A month ago."

Tara looked down and Jax thought unfairly, _If I wasn't thinking about you so damn much maybe I would have been more concerned about my junkie ex and baby._

Tara nodded and Jax looked to Wendy, jerking as he noted the major difference in his ex.

"The baby…" he trailed off, knowing the words but not wanting to hear them. He hadn't kept in touch with Wendy, but he knew she was nowhere near her due date. She had to have lost the baby.

"Dr. Walker had to do an emergency C-section. He is ten weeks premature," Tara said, her eyes looking at him in sympathy.

"Holy shit," Jax said, feeling himself unravel slightly.

Tara looked like she was debating if he was stable enough or not, but as his mother stepped up beside him, he said, "Just tell me, Tara."

She nodded and said, "Your son has a congenital heart defect. It's-"

"The family flaw," Gemma answered, a hint of fear in her voice. She had that flaw, Jax had that flaw. But the flaw was also responsible for taking her Thomas. Would it take Abel too?

"He also has a tear in his abdomen," Tara explained.

Jax felt terrified...the baby had made it, but wherever he was, Abel was in pain.

"The tear and the fact that she began to bleed were most likely from the drugs," Tara said, "It was why we had to deliver your son so early."

Jax nodded, but he didn't understand.

"The early birth, the tear in his stomach, and the heart defect...it gives him about a 20% chance of survival," Tara said, her face truly sympathetic, "Dr. Namid and Dr. Walker can talk-"

Jax shook his head, "No...I...no."

Gemma looked at him in confusion and suddenly a wisp on anger that had been hidden all the worry and terror grew. Grew to anger. To rage. He needed to destroy something.

Tara looked at him as if she could read his thoughts and said, "I'm so sorry, Jax."

Jax nodded as his thoughts raced. _One_, find the prick that sold to Wendy. _Two_, end the fucker. Those were his next steps.

"I can bring you to see him," Tara said, walking towards a door that led to NICU.

_No_, Jax thought. He couldn't...couldn't see Abel like that. So small. So weak. It would break Jax, he just knew it.

_Stick to your steps_, he thought to himself.

"I...I, uh," Jax mumbled, nervously glancing back towards his mom, who was looking at him in concern.

Gemma stepped forward to see her grandson, but Jax was rooted in place. Gemma stopped, wondering what was coursing through his head.

Jax strode towards Tara and said, "Thank you. For doing this. I know you don't have to."

"I do, actually," Tara said, a small smile on her face, "I am a neonatal and prenatal specialist. This is my job."

Jax studied her, thoroughly impressed with the woman she had become.

"His name is Abel," Jax said softly, telling her a name that had an 80% of being carved on a white tombstone.

"It's a good name," Tara murmured, smiling softly.

Jax nodded and walked off, leaving both Tara and Gemma staring after him in confusion. They both called out to him, but he felt the rage take over...the need for blood coursed through his veins.

**So I will be adding this to another one of my stories that I have no idea how long it will be...sigh...I swear I start with good intentions and limits. I am destined to break them all I guess when it comes to these stories. Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi everyone! So this is where you will really start to see me deviate from the storyline in regards to the show. I hope you all like it! **

**Please enjoy and thank you all so much for reading and giving me feedback!**

The Return

Chapter 4

Tara

After a suspected attempted murder on Gemma's part on Wendy and the touch and go status Abel was displaying, Tara was finally seeing a turnaround for the little guy. She was exhausted. Emotionally and physically. For the past month, Tara was essentially the primary on Abel's case, not trusting others to do it right.

She became invested, when she shouldn't have gotten invested.

Even though Tara worked constantly on the newest member of the Teller family, she asked Dr. Namid to take over speaking to the family. It wasn't that she was uncomfortable talking to Jax, but that was the case with Gemma.

Gemma was acting outright aggressive towards her. She didn't know if it was because of Tara being back or because Tara told Gemma of her suspicions that she was the one to sneak Wendy the drugs. Either way, Tara wasn't dealing with her.

As Tara made her way to her office to change, she stopped short when she saw Margaret and Peter talking over a contract. She ducked into her office, relieved she hadn't been seen.

After Abel was born, Tara had spent days and nights at the hospital caring for him. Peter suspected it was her way to get closer to Jax. And Peter accused her of using his connection to Jax to get closer too. She had been angry and had ended it, claiming if she wanted to get closer to Jax, she would just go to him.

It didn't end pretty, even though a few days ago she had come out to pink flower petals on her car from him. Maybe an apology? A weird apology. She didn't know what he meant by them, but she knew that she wasn't willing to give it another go. The stuff between her and Peter would always be an issue and they wouldn't go away.

Wendy had been in a facility for a few weeks and Tara had heard that she would get out in about a couple weeks into a halfway house. Despite being married to Jax and being a druggie...Tara found she kinda liked Wendy. Wendy was smarter than most gave her credit for and she wasn't mean spirited like one would expect. In fact, Tara thought they weren't all that different.

As Tara considered the complexities that made up Wendy, Tara realized that could have easily been her. Married to Jax, taking a backseat to the club. Dulling that pain with drugs. She felt pity for Wendy, and grateful that it hadn't been her.

When Tara was sure Peter had to be gone, she left her office to round on her patients. She was working on a chart when a nurse approached her and said, "Dr. Knowles, this came for you."

Tara thanked her and accepted the manila envelope. As she opened it, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to find nobody on her right but looked to her left and there was a smiling Jax.

"Hey," she said, glancing down at the envelope awkwardly. She had avoided Jax at every opportunity.

"Hey, haven't seen you around in a while," Jax said, a knowing glint in his eyes. He knew she was avoiding him.

Tara only shrugged in response and said, "Been busy."

Jax nodded and Tara asked, "How was Nevada?"

Jax looked at her in confusion and she explained, "Oh, Lowell told me. I dropped my car off at the garage a couple days ago. It was having some problems."

Jax nodded, "Nevada was fine. Uneventful," he said smirking as he opened his cut to reveal a clean gray shirt beneath it. Tara nodded and chuckled, "Good. Your mom is in there."

"Where else would she be?" he asked, smiling.

Tara chuckled and he left her there, cursing the butterflies in her stomach he still inspired. _That is a closed door_, she reminded herself, peeking into see Jax hover over Abel's incubator and smiling down at the baby.

Tara looked down at the envelope, reminded of its presence and pulled the contents out.

She nearly dropped them to the floor, but as she was passed by a nurse she quickly pushed the indecent picture back into the envelope. She glanced back up at Jax who was looking at her mischievously and she felt sick.

He was a pig. So far gone was the boy she fell in love with as a teenager. He had an ex-wife going through detox and a premature baby fighting for his life and he was fucking some random chick in Nevada? What the fuck was wrong with him?

Tara walked to a shredder and quickly shredded the disgusting image, wishing she could shred it from her mind too. No such luck.

"Tara?" Jax asked, coming up behind her. She had the urge to spew hate at him, but fought it. He owed her nothing. She was just his kid's doctor. He was Wendy's problem.

"Yes?" Tara asked in as professional a tone as possible. It threw Jax off. He looked at her in blatant confusion and concern.

"You okay?" he asked, concerned.

"Great," she said coolly, "Is something the matter with Abel?"

Jax shook his head and said, "I saw you through the window...you seemed upset."

_Yes, upset by who you have become_, Tara thought to herself.

"I'm fine, I assure you," Tara said, fighting to maintain the cool, professional tone, "Dr. Namid will be rounding in an hour to give you and Gemma a full update on Abel's progress."

Jax nodded, his eyebrows still knit together in confusion and worry. But Tara couldn't let that fool her. He wasn't her Jax anymore. He had become tainted by the club.

"You sure you are okay?" he asked timidly, shoving his hands in his pockets, like he had when he was a teen. The action disarmed her. She glanced down and nodded her head. She was fine. Fine.

Tara struggled to give him a stiff smile before turning and walking away from him towards the sanctuary of her office.

As she sank into her office chair, a thought occurred to her...the rose petals. They weren't from Peter. They were from Josh. And so was that sick picture.

He was here in Charming. The thought caused all thoughts of Jax to vanish and the feelings of fear and terror to course through her again.

_Run_, she told herself, _Run again._

Would this be her life? Running from someone who would always be looking for you? The thought terrified Tara and made her feel hopeless.

Tara gathered up some paperwork and then realized...if he had scattered the rose petals, he knew where she lived. Tara sighed. Even going home was a scary thought.

Tara made her way out of the hospital, determined to get some sleep. She had worked all night and was exhausted.

Tara walked towards the bus stop, her eyes constantly scanning for Josh or for a car she didn't even know she was looking for her. For some reason she felt like she was being watched. She didn't know if it was paranoia or something she should take seriously.

"Tara."

Tara jumped a mile off the ground, shrieking in fear, causing the other individuals waiting for the bus to jump in alarm.

Tara was shaking and suddenly she felt a pair of arms enclose around her, making her panic further and thrash against whoever's arms were wrapped around her.

She looked up into Jax's worried eyes as he tried to soothe her.

"What happened?" Jax asked, worriedly glancing her over for harm.

She couldn't answer him, just shook from fear as she was taken back to that night. The night Josh had raped and beaten her for trying to break up with him.

Instead of trying to get her to move, Jax just sat on the sidewalk with her, holding her as he tried to calm her. But she was back there...back in a waking nightmare.

"Should I go get some help?" a kind woman asked, looking at Tara as if she couldn't hear her.

"No," Tara finally got out, "I...I-I'm fine. Just startled."

Jax gave her a "_yeah right_" look, but nodded to the woman who walked away to continue the wait for the bus.

"Tara, what's going on? Tell me," Jax demanded.

She shook her head, images of her being held down in a darkened room flashing through her mind...the terror...the pain. She needed to get out...run. Even if she didn't want to run her whole life, she didn't want to relive the terror that was Josh Kohn.

"I'm fine," Tara repeated, as if to reassure herself. She shook his arms off and scrambled away from him, slowly standing. She picked up her purse, which had scattered all over the place.

Jax looked at her in concern and curiosity, but helped her pick up the contents of her purse.

"Is this about Rosen? Did he do something?" Jax asked in a hushed, furious tone.

Tara shook her head and said, "No."

"Tell me," Jax said through clenched teeth.

She stammered, "I...I-I…" _was raped...beaten and then held all night by a man who said he did it out of love… and the psycho is after me again_, Tara finished in her head. But she couldn't tell him. Jax _would _end her torment. And killing a fed...that was a death sentence. She would never bring Jax into this.

"It's none of your concern," she said, glancing up as she spotted the bus pulling up to the curb.

Jax shook his head as she took a step to get on it and said, "I will drive you home."

"No," Tara said, shaking her head, "I...I am good."

Jax grabbed her arm and said, "Tara, I am driving you."

Tara sighed and nodded as she realized he was serious. She didn't want to. Not at all. She knew he was just going to ask her more questions. And she didn't want to answer them. Couldn't answer them.

Jax pulled her gently towards his bike, then gently putting his helmet on her head, strapping it on. So gentle...as if he was afraid of scaring her again. She swung her leg over the back, the familiarity of the action causing bittersweet memories to rush to the forefront.

She focused on them instead of pushing them away though. Tara needed to forget Kohn and that night. So far the memories of being on Jax's bike helped calm her. She grabbed onto Jax's hips lightly and he asked if she was alright before he pulled away from the hospital, taking the long way.

He must have thought the ride calmed her because he drove a leisurely speed through the outskirts of town before heading to her house. She did calm slightly, taking in her hometown...she thought she could be safe here. Now she knew that she couldn't. She wouldn't be safe anywhere.

He pulled up to her house and Tara released him and climbed off the bike. She handed him his helmet back and he stopped her, grabbing her hand and pulling her back.

She looked down at their joined hands in confusion and he said, "You are scared...this fear I am getting, does it have anything to do with the car that's following us?"

_What?! _Tara thought, looking around as if she was being hunted. Well, she _was _being hunted.

"Compact parked halfway down the block," Jax said, glancing over his shoulder.

Tara spotted the beige rental car and it started again. She was back in that dark room…

On shaky legs Tara quickly moved to her front door, fumbling with her keys, frantic to get inside.

Jax

"Tara!" Jax said, pissed he was still missing something serious going on with her. He hated seeing her so afraid.

"Tara what the hell is going on?" Jax asked, coming up behind her where he watched her hands shake violently as they tried to get the key in the lock.

Tara looked over her shoulder towards the car he had pointed out to her and said, "Tell me now, Tara."

Tara looked up at him and then fear in her eyes literally took his breath away. Tara had _never _been jumpy like this. Something serious had to have happened for her to act this way.

"You know that ATF guy that has been looking into you guys?" Tara asked, and Jax nodded. Guy was a prick.

"He is here for me," Tara said, her voice trembling.

"What?" Jax asked, wondering what she was talking about. Tara? In trouble with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms? _Something wasn't adding up here_, he thought in amusement.

"I dated him in Chicago," Tara admitted, "But it got violent when I tried to leave him. So I came here, hoping he wouldn't-"

Jax was done listening though.

"Jax," she called after him, terrified, "He is dangerous."

"Get inside Tara, lock the door," Jax barked sternly.

Jax strode over to the car and as he approached, Kohn stepped out. Jax pulled out his knife and slammed it into the guy's radiator, spilling the fluid out.

"Vandalism, deadly weapon," Kohn noted, coming eye to eye with Jax, "That's six month in county, asshole."

Clearly this man wasn't smart because he was coming closer to a ticking time bomb. And Jax was about to explode. He was holding a knife too.

Jax stepped closer and said, "You aren't here for Samcro. You're here for her. But this stalking shit ends here."

Kohn smirked and said, "Badass biker. I am not afraid of you."

"You should be," Jax said, angry, "This is my last warning."

Suddenly a high pitched siren went off and Hale pulled up in his jeep.

"Tara called," Hale said, "Seems to think there was a dispute in her neighborhood."

Jax and Kohn hadn't broken eye contact though.

"Kohn isn't here for Samcro, Hale. He is here for Tara," Jax informed the deputy sheriff. Kohn glanced at him and said, "I am here on ATF business."

Jax seethed. This asshole…

"No, you're not," Hale said, fury flushing his cheeks. For once, Jax and the law were on the same side it seemed, "Your boss thinks you are on vacation in Oregon."

The blood drained from Kohn's face and Jax turned to Hale and said, "You knew about this?"

"She never told me it was him," Hale said angrily, as if Kohn wasn't standing there. So Tara told Hale about what happened...why the hell would she tell David and not him?

"Violating a restraining order," Jax said, eyeing Kohn, and asking Hale, "Doesn't that warrant an arrest?"

"It does," Hale said, holding up hand cuffs.

Jax watched with a smile on his face as Hale slapped the cuffs on the ATF agent.

"Let's go," Hale said, dragging Kohn not so gently towards the cop car.

"She deserves better than you," Kohn said to Jax.

"She deserves to be with someone who doesn't get "violent" and take it out on her, whatever that means, asshole," Jax growled out, spitting at Kohn's feet.

Hale jerked Kohn towards his car and pushed him in.

Before Hale climbed in he said, "Tell Tara I will come by and check in on her."

Jax didn't say anything and watched as Hale drove Kohn away. He watched until he turned off the street and then strode back towards Tara's house.

He knocked gently on the door and called through the door, "Tara?"

She unlocked the door and opened it, looking out beyond Jax.

"Can I come in?" Jax asked softly, so as to not startle her.

Tara nodded and let him in, closing the door and locking it behind him.

"He's gone. Hale took him into custody for violating parole," Jax said, "You were right. He came here for you. Hale checked in with his boss. Apparently Kohn told him he was going on vacation to Oregon."

Tara looked surprised and said, "Really?"

Jax nodded and he watched as her brain worked furiously, her eyes glancing down as she took it in.

"I am so relieved," Tara said, sighing as she closed her eyes and leaned back against the sofa.

Jax nodded and asked, "What did you mean when you said Kohn got violent?"

Tara looked up, her eyes hardening and said, "It doesn't matter anymore."

"It _does _matter," Jax said, "It's why you fell to pieces on the street when I startled you."

Tara looked down at the ground, her shoulders slumped. She looked defeated. When she looked back up at him, her eyes...they were haunted with some memory.

"He beat me," Tara murmured softly, ashamed even, "After I told him I didn't want to see him anymore. Then... he raped me."

Jax clenched his teeth so hard he thought his teeth would crack as she stumbled to tell him.

"Then he held me," Tara said in a scratchy voice, her eyes glancing off as if she was lost in the memory, "Told me he did that because he loved me. I was so afraid...the whole night."

Jax felt sick at the imagery her words painted.

"I went to his superiors, and three different police precincts until one finally gave me a restraining order against him," Tara said, looking to him.

_Of fucking course_, he thought to himself. And people wondered why he had a distrust of cops.

"When he wouldn't stop, I came here," Tara said, looking to him, "I thought moving away from Chicago would stop him. I was wrong."

Jax understood why Kohn did what he did. Every day since Tara left, he thought about going after her. What would have happened if he had...that was something he always wondered.

"I am sorry, Tara," Jax said, "But you don't have to worry about him anymore. He is done. Leaving Charming."

Tara nodded and said, "Thank you for...dealing with that. And for not being freaked out my breakdown by the bus stop."

"Why were you taking the bus?" Jax asked.

"I told you," Tara said, "My car is getting fixed by Lowell."

"I would have driven you," Jax said, frustrated.

Tara shrugged and said, "Bus is fine." Jax dropped it, even though it bugged him.

"Before," Jax said, "In the hospital, you were different. It happened when I went in to see Abel. What happened?"

A look skittered across Tara's face and she stood suddenly, "Nothing, I have just been tired lately. Worrying about Abel and all this Kohn shit."

Jax looked at her, knowing that wasn't it. But he didn't push it because she had been through enough.

"I really need to sleep," Tara said, glancing at him and then the door. A clear message that she wanted him to leave.

"Okay," he said, standing and walking towards her. He stepped towards her and she stepped back. This small act broke his heart a little.

"I'm sorry," Tara apologized, which made him feel shittier.

"No, I get it," he said. And he really did. Right now she was overwhelmed and vulnerable after reliving all that Kohn shit.

He moved towards the door and Tara walked up behind him to lock it behind him.

As he stepped through the door, Tara grabbed his elbow gently. He turned in confusion, but her arms wrapped around him and she hugged him tightly.

"Thank you, Jax," she whispered, "Really. Thank you."

He hugged her back, burrowing his nose in her hair. He loved the way she smelled.

When her grip loosened, he pulled back, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"I'll see you," he whispered. She nodded and he left, hearing her lock the door behind him.

**So...how do you all think I did? I love feedback, so make sure to hit review or message me! Thanks for reading and enjoy the weekend everyone!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone! Hope you all had a great weekend! Doing some updating tonight, so let's get right to it!**

**Thanks for the reviews and following this story!**

The Return

Chapter 5

Tara

Later that night, Tara was brushing her teeth when she heard something. She frowned and turned the faucet off, listening hard for it again. When she didn't hear anything she turned the faucet back on and finished brushing her teeth.

She walked out into the bedroom and screamed as she took in the most unlikely person...didn't Hale say he drove him to the airport? What the fuck?

"Tara, Tara, calm down," Josh said, walking towards her, wrapping her in a vice grip and covering her mouth.

She screamed against his palm, tears filling her eyes as she flashed back to that night.

"I am not here to hurt you, Tar-Tar. Calm down," Josh said.

Tara needed a plan. Because he was going to hurt her. Unless she outsmarted him. Her head spun as she thought about what she should do.

_Stop screaming_, Tara thought. She looked up at him and he slowly uncovered her mouth.

"I am sorry for doing it this way, but you wouldn't let me close any other way," Josh said. He was clearly demented.

Tara nodded and in a shaky voice said, "I-I understand. I do."

"I just want to talk," he said smiling at her hopefully, "Can we talk?"

Tara nodded and said, "Yes, but you need to let me go. I can barely breathe."

Josh nodded, but his grip tightened slightly and said, "Don't run."

Tara shook her head and said, "I won't."

Josh's grip loosened and she sighed in relief slightly.

Josh stood, pulling Tara up with him and she backed up onto the bed and sat at the edge of it. Josh started his music...a song that sent a chill up her spine. _Can't Get Used To Losing You_. Was this the last song she would ever hear? It was like the national stalker's anthem.

Tara glanced around the room, spotting Josh's gun on his belt and looked around for something heavy or sharp as a weapon.

She spotted the metal lamp. That was the only thing that would trip him up for a few seconds.

Josh turned to her and said, "I am sorry for scaring you, Tara. Sometimes love and passion inspires a man's baser instincts. And I love you, Tara, despite the restraining order."

Tara nodded, her head spinning as she half listened to him as she tried to come up with a plan.

"I mean, what was that? That came out of nowhere?" Josh said, looking at her as if she was the crazy one.

"It made me feel like some kind of psycho," he said as if to shame her.

_That's because you are psycho_, Tara thought to herself.

"Did you come back for Teller?" Josh asked, his voice off.

"No," Tara said, shaking her head. Which was true. She had come here to get away from him.

Josh didn't react how she expected and slapped her across the face.

"Don't lie to me, Tara," Josh seethed.

"O-oh okay," Tara stammered, her eyes tearing up at the sting across her temple.

Josh inhaled against the rage he felt and sat in front of her, "You know that can never happen. You and him."

Tara nodded, afraid to say anything in case she got slapped again. Or worse.

"What we need to do is have an honest conversation so we can start over and build a solid foundation for this relationship," Josh said optimistically. Tara only hoped her facial expression didn't reveal the _"You've got to be fucking kidding me"_ look she felt so deeply.

Tara nodded and Josh looked ecstatic and relieved by her nodding.

"So," Josh said, standing. "Let's talk."

Tara nodded and knew this was it as he turned to the IPOD. Tara stood quickly, snatching the lamp off the bedside table and rammed it as hard as she could in the back of Josh's head.

Tara dropped the lamp and then ran. She ran blindly, out of the house, out onto the street as Josh called after her. She spotted headlights and waved frantically, glancing back at her front door terrified.

Josh appeared in the door, clutching the back of his head just as the headlights came closer.

"Tara?" Opie called out, stepping out of his truck.

"Opie, help me please," she croaked out, her breathing irregular.

"Jesus," Opie said, walking up to her, looking between Josh and Tara's face. Then she remembered that he had hit her hard enough to leave a mark. Donna jumped out of the front seat and said, "Tara? Are you okay?"

Opie was charging to the house, furious and enraged.

"Opie," Donna screamed after him.

Josh fired and Tara screamed in horror as she watched them both fall to the ground.

"Oh God," Donna gasped in fear.

"Call 911," Tara demanded as she rushed towards Opie.

Tara looked between the two men and saw that Opie had managed to wrestle the gun away from Josh and that Josh had been shot in the stomach.

"Tara, Tara, I am sorry," Josh gasped, attempting to stop the bleeding with his hands, "Call 911. Don't let me die."

Tara looked between Opie and Josh and realized...Opie was going to get in trouble. Tara touched Opie's shoulder gently and motioned for the gun.

"Give that to me," Tara said softly, shooting him a meaning look. Opie looked at her in confusion, but did as he was told and handed her the gun.

"Tar-Tar," Josh said nervously.

"I _never _want to see you again," Tara said gripping the gun tightly, choking back tears, "Do you understand, you psychotic fuck?"

Josh looked at her like she was crazy, but she clicked the gun, and hissed, "Do you?"

He nodded and said, "I guess you will always be a biker slut."

Tara flinched at his words and Opie punched him, but Tara stopped him.

"Don't," Tara said, "He's done."

The ambulance pulled up and so did Hale's cop car.

David Hale rushed forward and said, "What happened? Are you okay?"

"He broke into my house and attacked me," Tara said, her voice shaking.

"I banged his head with my lamp and ran, but he caught up to me as I was getting through the front door," Tara said holding the gun out to him.

"I wrestled it away from him, but it went off," Tara said nervously. _Please buy this David_, she thought.

David nodded and put the gun in an evidence bag and hugged her to him.

"Were you hurt, Tara?" David asked, pulling back and studying her.

Tara shook her head as Josh was being wheeled past her.

"You pathetic whore!" he was screeching to her angrily, writhing against handcuffs. He was so unhinged...

Hale moved to hit him for his remark, but Tara stopped him.

"He is going to prison," Tara said, relieved, "At least he'll be miserable."

David nodded and said, "Do you need anything? A ride to the hospital?"

"Just an ice pack. And I have a pack of peas in my freezer," she joked. Honestly, where did her sense of humor come from after a night like this?

"Thank God Opie stopped to help when he did," Tara said, looking at Donna and Opie who were hugging. Opie was looking at her nervously, and she tried to give him subtle reassurance, but apparently it didn't get translated well because he still looked nervous.

"Tomorrow, you, Opie, and Donna are going to need to come in and give statements," Hale said, still worried. David was a doofus, but he was kind.

"Thanks David," Tara said, smiling sweetly to him, "For everything."

He nodded eagerly and walked towards his car, but before he climbed in he stopped next to Opie and held his hand out to him saying something. He then got in his jeep and pulled away, following the ambulance.

"Donna, I have that book you wanted to borrow," she called out. There were still police officers looking around her house, taking pictures.

Donna nodded and Opie followed her as they went inside the house where two policemen were working on taking pictures from where Josh had broken in to her house, then the bedroom, to the front door where Josh had been shot.

Tara motioned over to the back door and Opie and Donna followed her out.

"I told David it was me," Tara murmured softly, causing both Donna and Opie to gape at her in shock.

"I know you just got out," Tara said, "This way it looks like it was self-defense."

"You lied to the police?" Opie asked in disbelief.

"I had to," Tara said defensively, " I know you just got out. I am guessing handling a deadly weapon is a violation of your probation, especially when the person who gets shot is a federal agent."

Donna and Opie just stared at her in disbelief and suddenly Donna threw herself at Tara.

"Thank you," she whispered to Tara, crying gratefully.

Tara gently patted her back and said, "Can you both stick around so we can go over this story so we are all straight?"

They both agreed to come back after they dropped the kids off with Piney.

Tara sighed as she went back inside. As the police worked, she didn't know what to do with herself. So she just sat at the dining room table, her hands folded in front of her.

Josh broke into her house…had held a gun on her...hit her. It just happened, but it still felt surreal. It had felt surreal in Chicago. When something so horrible...something so ugly, you almost don't believe it happened. But even though Tara ran from Chicago, she couldn't escape what happened there. It was every nightmare, every loud noise that surprised her...

Being a doctor, Tara knew she was in shock. Tara watched as the police eyed her nervously, but she couldn't snap out of it to reassure them she was okay. Too much had happened.

One of them approached her and sat in front of her timidly, "I know you have been through a lot. Hale told me you would give your statement tomorrow at the station, but he did ask me to snap a couple pictures of...where he hit you," the officer said.

Tara nodded and asked, "What do I have to do?"

"Lighting is actually pretty good," he mumbled lightly, "Just turn your head for me?"

Tara turned her head and he asked, "Good, now pull back your hair?"

Tara held her hair back from her face and he began clicking pictures.

"Thanks, that's good," he said, standing, "We are going to head out now. Are you alright here by yourself?"

Tara nodded, going back to her position of sitting mutely at the table. She wanted to go to sleep, but was afraid to. She definitely wouldn't be sleeping in her room tonight. The couch would have to do.

A knock on the door came just as the police were getting ready to leave. Tara asked, "Can you let them in?"

They nodded and said, "Have a good night, ma'am."

She nodded and they opened the door. She couldn't see Donna or Opie but the police blocked the door as they looked to her and asked, "Are you expecting anyone besides the Winstons?"

Tara crinkled her eyebrow in confusion, glancing at the clock. It was after midnight. Who the hell else could it be?

"Who?" she asked, standing and walking to the door. Jax was standing there looking confused and concerned as he glanced between her and the police.

"It's fine," Tara told the officers. They nodded and walked past Jax.

"What happened?" Jax asked, stepping inside without invitation.

"What are you doing here?" Tara asked, closing the door behind him.

"I was coming to check on you," Jax said exasperated, "What happened?" he asked again.

"Josh came back," Tara said.

Jax looked her over and asked, "Are you okay? What happened?"

What did he think happened?

"It's over," she said, not wanting to relive it. As Jax began to protest, the door knocked.

Jax looked at her questioningly and he opened the door to Opie and Donna.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jax asked, glancing between them.

"What are _you _doing here?" Donna asked glancing between Tara and Jax. _Great_, Tara thought, _More rumors._

"Tara?" Jax asked, annoyed by Donna's question.

Tara looked to him and he snapped, "Somebody better start explaining shit right the fuck now."

"Three way?" Opie joked as a silence fell over the room, and for some reason, the joke was hysterically funny to her. Tara burst out laughing, clutching her sides as Donna slapped Opie's chest with a scolding smile on her face.

Jax looked pissed and Tara was now laughing so hard she was crying…she sank to the floor, gasping for breath as Jax, Opie and Donna looked at her as if she was nuts.

They soon realized she wasn't laughing anymore, just crying.

Jax

Jax looked to Opie who said uncomfortably, "I'll get some water."

Donna crouched down next to Tara and wrapped her arms around her and whispered something in her ear. Tara nodded and Donna gently pulled her to her feet and led her away towards the bathroom.

Jax turned to Opie and asked, "What the hell is going on?"

Opie shrugged and said, "I am not really sure. Donna and I were driving home and as we drove down this street, Tara comes stumbling out into the middle of the road, waving us down."

"I climbed out and saw that Tara had a red cheek and saw that ATF guy screaming at her," Opie said, "She looked terrified."

Jax was about to ask more, but Tara walked back in the room with Donna, her face just splashed with fresh water. Donna rubbed her back and said, "We are going to get on the same page for tomorrow's statement and then Tara needs to get some sleep."

Tara made her way to the kitchen and made a pot of coffee in silence. Jax had a million questions, but Donna's stern look told him that wasn't an option.

After there were four coffee cups served and all of them were seated around the small dining room table, Tara, Opie, and Donna began talking about the evening as if Jax wasn't even there.

As he listened to the falsified version of the evenings' events, Jax studied Tara carefully. Kohn's hand print was clearly visible on her cheek and temple. Her eyes were sad and detached as she meticulously went over their story. A story she had created to protect Opie.

When Donna and Opie were clear on what to say, they stood. Donna shot Jax a look, but he stayed put, despite her warning look.

Donna hugged Tara and whispered, "Thank you."

Tara pulled back but shrugged and said, "I pulled you into it."

Opie also hugged Tara, and true to his personality, was silent but held her a second longer. When he pulled back he looked down at Tara, Jax could see the gratitude. Tara just nodded and they left.

Tara turned back to Jax, looking at him expectantly.

"You going to tell me?" Jax asked softly.

Tara sighed and said, "No. Not tonight. I...can't go over it again."

Jax nodded and Tara said, "I am just going to go to bed."

"I can stay," he offered.

Tara shook his head, and Jax refrained from releasing a growl in frustration.

Jax stood and Tara followed him to the front door.

"You don't have to come and check on me, Jax," Tara said, "I can take care of myself."

"Like tonight?" he asked, a definite edge in his tone.

"Yeah, like tonight," Tara said defensively.

Jax just shook his head stood there, not wanting to leave her.

"I am sorry," he murmured.

"For what?" Tara asked, confused.

"I thought you were safe," Jax said.

Tara studied him for a moment and said, "I am not your responsibility, Jax."

Jax looked back at her and she squirmed under his gaze.

Jax was suddenly in front of her, cupping her stunned face.

He angled her face upwards so she had to look in his eyes. She was his. Had been since they had been kids. If her safety and happiness wasn't his responsibility, then whose could it be? No, it was Jax's responsibility. And today, he had failed.

Tara seemed to see all this. She rocked up on her tiptoes and softly brushed her lips against his, the look in her eyes almost nervous.

Jax's heart thumped in his chest and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer.

Tara's lips became surer against his and he groaned into the kiss, gripping her tighter against him. Why had he ever let her go? _How _did he let her go? He shivered against her and she wrapped herself tighter around him.

Jax picked her up and carried her towards the bedroom and they fell to the bed, still locked together. This felt so..._right_. Nothing else ever felt this right to Jax in his entire life.

Jax pulled back, gasping for breath and Tara looked up at him looking so conflicted and yes, turned on.

Jax smiled down at her and then pecked her lips lightly, running his fingers through her soft hair. Tara apparently lost patience with him and pulled him back down to her lips.

**I hope you all enjoyed it...this was a rollercoaster of a chapter, so I am anxious to see how you liked it. I love writing late at night and waking up to messages and reviews in the morning...here's hopin'! Happy Tuesday!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Update day! I hope you all are having a wonderful week! I appreciate you reading and following this story. I really appreciate those of you who take the time to leave feedback. Keeps me motivated and the words flowing. **

**Enjoy!**

The Return

Chapter 6

Tara

Tara cracked an eye open, against the morning sunlight. Her body ached, but in a good way. She stretched her muscles and rolled onto her back when she felt the presence next to her. She glanced to her right, and there he was. Jax. Sleeping soundly with his arm and leg flung over her.

Tara looked at him for another second before looking to the ceiling. Why had she slept with him? She rolled off the bed as gently as possible and crept towards the bathroom.

Tara turned the shower on and climbed in. As Tara showered, her mind flashed certain images of last night. So much had happened and having sex with Jax wasn't even the most surprising.

As Tara shampooed her hair, she heard the door open and Jax pad in. She turned and he was watching her through the glass of the shower.

"Mornin'," he whispered in a sleep heavy voice.

She leaned her head back, rinsing out her hair thoroughly, not knowing what to say to him.

She was surprised when she heard the door to the shower open and Jax climb in with her. Suddenly she felt like she needed to run, but she didn't know why. Last night, Tara hadn't run at all. She welcomed Jax's presence in her bed. He made sure no thoughts of Josh lingered last night.

Jax stepped close to her and looked down at her, his dark blue eyes so guarded. She wanted to say something, but he just reached around her for her conditioner and poured some out before smoothing it into her hair for her. He kissed her lips softly and said, "Do you regret being with me?"

Tara opened her eyes as he reached for her body wash and lathered his hands up, lightly trailing them down her body causing her skin to erupt in gooseflesh.

Did she regret sleeping with him?

Tara had a hard time thinking straight since he was being very thorough in cleaning her breasts.

He gently spun her to face the wall and washed down her back. It gave her the opportunity to consider his questions.

Tara thought through last night's events and realized she didn't regret it. Sleeping with him. She never had. Subconsciously, Tara believed she needed someone last night. She needed comfort. She needed to feel safe. Jax offered all those to her last night. Added bonus: she had gotten great sex.

But the internal conflict she was feeling was _should _she have slept with him? Sex with Jax had never just been sex with Jax. Tara had a hard time compartmentalizing when it came to him.

Tara came back to the shower as Jax pressed his hardening erection against her ass. She inhaled sharply and shivered as his soapy fingers massaged the skin of her belly and he kissed along her neck.

"No," she whispered, "I don't regret it."

She felt Jax smile against her neck and said, "Me either."

Tara sighed as he slipped his hand down….causing her to moan and arch back against him. Jax growled low in her ear as she pressed against him.

"Jax," she sighed as he worked her.

Jax spun her around and she smiled up at him as she took in his heated look. She shivered in response and he pulled her close, his erection pressed between them.

Tara held his gaze and he murmured, "You have no idea how much I missed you."

Tara didn't know how to respond to that, but stood on her tiptoes and kissed him passionately, re-familiarizing herself with his mouth._ This is why you slept with him_, Tara reminded herself, _He is irresistible_.

Jax lifted her leg so it rested on the edge of the tub and massaged her momentarily before guiding himself to her. Tara fisted his hair and kissed him once more as he entered her slowly, lost in the sensation of being so full.

Jax pulled back and watched her face as he thrust into her gently.

"I have missed you," he repeated in a harsh whisper. Tara didn't know why he kept saying that, and she didn't have a response. Tara closed her eyes as she let the pleasure take over her, feeling each delicious inch of him slide inside of her.

The reason sex with Jax could never be just sex was because...it was almost spiritual for them. It would _always _be so much more.

Jax kissed along Tara's neck as he halted his movements, resting inside of her.

Tara cracked open her eyes, holding his intense gaze. They shuddered at the intensity that passed between them and Tara leaned forward, resting her lips against his, not exactly kissing him, but needing to feel the intimacy.

Jax molded his lips to hers as he thrust fully into her quickly. Tara's head fell back and Jax groaned against her neck as they both approached their finish. Tara's walls fluttered around him, trying to pull him deeper into her as her body ached for relief from the pressure inside of her.

Jax swelled inside of her, and her body reacted as she cried out, her hands gripping the sides of the shower so she didn't fall as she lost control of all her muscles.

Jax grunted against her as he came, thrusting spasmodically as he finished, his grip on her tight. Tara and Jax stood under the spray of water as they came down from their releases and kissed tenderly.

Jax pulled out of Tara and kissed her forehead, once more reaching for the body wash. Tara pulled it from his grip and said, "I think I can handle it this time."

Jax smirked and Tara began to lather herself up and rinsing out her hair.

Tara climbed out of the shower as Jax finished cleaning himself up. She moved to the sink, patting her face dry with her towel.

"So what are you going to tell Rosen?" Jax asked as he stepped out behind her, reaching for a towel.

_Oh_...obviously he didn't know, Tara thought.

"Nothing," Tara responded, rubbing moisturizer into her skin, "Because we aren't dating anymore."

Jax looked at her as he lightly toweled his long hair and asked, "Really?"

Tara shot him a knowing look and said, "Don't pretend you are surprised."

"He seemed really attached to you at the barbeque," Jax said, wrapping the towel around his waist.

"Well, there were things that we couldn't get past in our relationship," Tara said, walking out of the bathroom. _You...we couldn't get past you_, Tara thought to Jax silently. She just now realized that any guy she dated in Charming would bring up similar concerns. That thought depressed her.

"Sorry," Jax said, following her out to the bedroom and reaching for his pants. But Tara knew better. He wasn't sorry at all.

Tara looked at the clock, realizing if she didn't hurry, she would be late to the station for her statement. Tara slipped on a pair of jeans and a tank top, tousling her hair so it would dry in loose curls. She applied minimal makeup as Jax studied her as she got ready.

She knew he wanted to say something.

As Tara slipped a pair of boots on he asked, "What's this mean?"

Tara paused putting her mascara on and asked, "What do you want it to mean?"

Jax was silent and Tara nodded and said, "I don't know either."

Jax smiled and said, "So how about we stay casual until we do know?"

Tara didn't know if this was smart...should she go back down this road? His life...it was messy. Her life was messy. Well...now that Josh was no longer in the picture, her life didn't have to be messy.

"Let me think about it, okay?" Tara asked, studying his reaction. He was surprised it seemed, but he nodded and stood with her as she grabbed her purse and keys.

"I need to get down to the station," Tara said absentmindedly.

"I'll drive you," Jax said.

Tara nodded and they walked out together.

Jax

Jax drove Tara to the police station, spotting Donna and Opie outside of it waiting.

Jax pulled up in front of them and Tara climbed off. She began walking to them, leaving Jax, but he grabbed her hand and dragged her back. She looked at him curiously and he framed her face and said, "It's going to be okay."

Tara nodded and said, "I am not worried." She was talking about the police statement, but Jax was talking about them. He wondered if she knew that and was avoiding the sensitive topic.

Jax ignored it and angled her face to his and kissed her, ignoring the surprised glance that passed between Donna and Opie. Tara pulled away first and took a step back, smiling tightly. He wondered if she would be okay.

Jax didn't have time to worry about it then though. His phone was dead and he was sure that either Clay or Gemma had tried to get ahold of him. If he didn't check in soon, they would be worried.

Jax released Tara and said, "Good luck."

Tara nodded and said, "Yep. See ya later."

Jax smirked and said, "Begging for a date already? Show some self-restraint, Knowles."

Tara chuckled and shook her head, rolling her eyes. It was the first real smile she had smiled today and the fact that he had caused it made him happier than he had been in a long time.

Jax nodded to Opie who looked bored once more and the three headed into the police station as Jax pulled out of the lot.

Jax drove his motorcycle through Charming, towards the clubhouse.

As he parked his bike, he frowned as he looked around the suspiciously empty lot. Something was up.

Jax took his helmet off and walked towards the clubhouse, looking for someone who could tell him what was going on.

Clay spotted him and stood, clearly pissed, "Where the hell have you been? Why haven't you been answering your goddamn phone?"

"It's dead," Jax said, looking around, "What happened?"

"When we met with Cameron, we were fired at. Someone tried to kill Cameron. He's in there," Clay said, pointing towards the conference room they used for church.

"Jesus," Jax said, looking through the window to see Chibs and Juice hovering over a passed out Cameron.

"Jax," Gemma said, coming out of the room, "Where have you been?"

Knowing what her reaction would be, Jax ignored Gemma's question and asked, "Is he gonna make it?"

Gemma said, "It doesn't look good. We need to get him to a hospital, but he won't let us. He will go to prison for sure if he checks in anywhere. Without medical supplies, Chibs can't do anything either."

Jax swore under his breath, his thoughts immediately straying to Tara. Was it too early to pull her in on something like this? Tara was too good a person to let someone suffer and die. She was a doctor for God's sake and had taken a vow to heal.

"I am going to go get Tara," Jax said, "Maybe she can help."

Gemma raised an eyebrow and sarcastically said, "That's your solution? Tara?"

"You got a better one?" Jax snapped, "She is a surgeon, has access to medical supplies...we need Cameron to keep things good with the Irish. I won't ask Tara if you think I shouldn't."

Gemma sighed angrily as she realized he was right, and Clay said, "Go get the doc. We'll hold things down here. Charge your fucking phone though and grab a throwaway in the meantime."

Jax nodded and grabbed a burner phone from the drawer and plugged his phone in.

As he left the bar, he saw Gemma and Clay whispering to one another and Jax knew it was about him and Tara. He didn't have time or patience to deal with it.

Jax left, going towards the hospital. Tara was probably still at the police department giving her statement, so he would visit Abel while he waited for her to finish.

Jax walked towards the NICU and smiled as he saw his son sleeping.

Jax situated himself in the chair next to the incubator that was home for his Abel.

"You are a fighter kid," Jax whispered, "A true Teller."

Abel's little chest rose and fell, determined to live. Jax couldn't be a prouder parent. It took a lot for a child to make it in this world. Abel had been born with so many odds against him. But he took those odds and threw them back in the face of anyone who doubted him, including Jax. This kid...he was going to grow up to be an amazing person. Jax couldn't wait to see what he would do.

Jax sat there, watching his son until the door to the room opened and Tara walked in. She stopped short when she spotted Jax and said, "What are you doing here?"

"Came to visit little man," Jax said, smiling at her and then down at Abel.

"That kid is tough," Tara said, smiling through the plastic that surrounded the baby, "He is going to make it."

Jax nodded and said, "Yeah, he is. All thanks to you."

Tara smiled and blushed, looking back down at Abel. Jax knew the minute that he asked Tara if she would help with the Irishman that she might spook and end whatever they had started. She would help, but that didn't mean she would stay with him.

Jax studied her face a moment, prolonging the feeling of having her back before saying, "I don't know how to ask this."

Tara looked up from the incubator, confused and concerned, "What?"

"I need your help. There's a man...at the clubhouse. He's hurt pretty bad. Bullet wound."

Tara looked at Jax in shock and stammered, "A-are you serious?"

Jax nodded and said, "I wouldn't ask is it wasn't an emergency. He will die soon if he doesn't get help from a doctor."

"Why don't you bring him to the emergency room?" Tara asked.

"It's...complicated," Jax said, not wanting to let Tara know that Cameron was on a most wanted list. It would only freak her out more.

Tara nodded and responded, "Of course it is."

Jax looked at her and said, "It's bad, Tara. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't."

Tara sighed and said, "Okay. Let me just get some things."

Jax nodded and said, "Thank you."

Tara nodded and left Jax waiting in the small room with Abel, wondering what she was thinking. Jax just hoped that Tara didn't flee Charming.

She came back in the room, still dressed in her scrubs, but she had a medic bag and her purse.

"Ready?" he asked.

Tara nodded and he led the way.

**Please leave me a review! Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi everyone! So it's Monday night and I meant to get this out yesterday, but I kept tweaking and tweaking until I could live with it. Ergh. Hopefully it is worth it! Anyway, thanks for being so patient. I am finally getting back on track! Yay!**

**Enjoy this chapter and send me lots of love in the form of reviews and messages. **

The Return

Chapter 7

Tara

Tara sighed tiredly as she collected all the medical supplies that were reusable, sealing them up in a contamination bag before carefully packing it away. The man should live if infection didn't set in.

Jax walked in and asked, "How's he doing?"

"He should live if infection doesn't settle in," Tara told him, slinging the bag on her shoulder.

Jax nodded and studied Tara as he asked, "And her?" glancing Gemma's way.

"She still wants me dead," Tara said, smirking, "You know that right?"

"I'll handle my mother," Jax said, sighing in exaggeration.

Tara smiled and said, "Some things never change."

Jax looked at her and asked, "We okay?"

Tara shrugged, but looked up at him with an odd look on her face and quietly said, "I guess we'll see if infection settles in." Her tone and the look on her face suggested that she wasn't talking about Cameron or his ass. She was talking about them.

Jax smiled and said, "Good. So will you come by later? After your shift?"

"Here?" Tara asked, looking around, remembering when they were younger and this was the only place they could come to be together.

Jax shrugged and nodded and said, "I won't be done dealing with all this until late."

Tara nodded and smiled and said, "Sure. I will come by after my shift."

Jax nodded and leaned forward, pecking her lips softly. As he let the kiss linger, he saw Gemma watching them from the corner of his eye.

Tara pulled away finally and said, "I should get back if I am coming around later."

Jax nodded and said, "Thank you for your help, doc."

Tara nodded and said, "See you tonight."

Jax nodded and Tara smiled, feeling uneasy but not exactly sure why.

Jax pecked her lips one final time and Tara smiled and flushed as she turned and walked out of the clubhouse. Gemma eyed her the entire way out. Tara was just glad the back of her shirt didn't have a target on it.

Jax

It had been going smoothly for a week with Tara. It was low maintenance and exactly what he needed right now. He had told Tara he needed to not get heavy and she seemed to get it. She had been with him every night now at the clubhouse and Jax couldn't be happier.

He could tell Tara was curious about his life now that he was a ranking member of the club, but she refrained from asking, which he really appreciated. The more he explained to her, the higher the chance was that she would run again.

His mom was right about one thing when it came to the women involved with Samcro. Either you tell them everything or nothing. Opie had decided to tell Donna nothing. But it put a noticeable strain on their relationship. And Jax could see that becoming a problem between him and Tara since he pulled her in once already to save the club's and his ass with Cameron.

Jax rolled over to find Tara spooning him from behind, sleeping soundly. She looked so peaceful in her sleep, but sleeping with her for the past week he knew she was prone to nightmares. And he could guess what might be behind them.

Which reminded him that he needed to check in with Hale about Kohn. He wondered if he was still in the hospital or if he had been moved to the county jail.

Tara knew Kohn was crazy, but what she didn't realize was that someone like Kohn never ever went away permanently until he went away _permanently_. Jax wanted to make that sick fucker go away permanently. It was just an added bonus that he was a fed.

Jax leaned forward and kissed Tara's soft shoulder, causing her to snuggled deeper into the sheets. He really wanted to wake her up and make sure they had a really good morning, but she looked so comfortable.

Jax rolled and sat up, stretching before he went into the bathroom.

Jax began brushing his teeth when Tara came in, looking sleepy but satisfied.

"Morning," she whisperer in a raspy voice.

"Morning, babe," Jax said around his toothbrush, rinsing it off before dropping it in the cup.

Tara stood on her tiptoes to reach his lips and pecked them softly before grabbing the spare toothbrush she brought with her a week ago. She began brushing her teeth as Jax studied her, his eyes lingering over her bare legs, and her ass, barely covered by his too-big t-shirt on her.

Jax wrapped his arms around her pulling her close as smiled around her toothbrush, never stopping her movements.

"You look insanely sexy in my Samcro shirt, babe," he whispered huskily in her ear.

Tara giggled and spit out a mouthful of toothpaste and said, "That's exactly what I was going for."

Jax smiled against her neck and said, "Why are you up? You looked so comfortable."

Tara rinsed her mouth out and then turned in his arms and said, "I need to get to work."

Jax groaned in frustration, and said, "Work, Schmerk, get some more sleep. Play hooky."

"You forget that I almost never played hooky with you and Ope," Tara said, smiling up at him teasingly.

Jax pinched her butt lightly in admonishment, causing Tara to yelp and laugh, "Hey!"

Jax kissed her lips deeply, massaging the spot on her ass that she had just pinched and said, "Let me kiss that for you."

"Jax," Tara said, her eyes closed as his lips kissed along her jaw, "I really need to get going."

"Not even a little time for me to wake you up?" Jax was, pushing her underwear down her ass and stroking the smooth skin beneath.

Tara arched her neck so Jax could nibble down her throat and she said, "I guess I can be a little late."

"Come on," Jax said, pulling her towards the shower, "I can multitask."

Tara

Tara bounced into the hospital twenty minutes late, but she had phoned in on her way saying she was having some car trouble.

"Sorry I am late," she said to Dr. Namid, slipping her name tag onto her lab jacket.

"No, car trouble is car trouble," he said without looking at her as he wrote into a chart.

"What's today's schedule?" Tara asked, motioning for a nurse to hand her a pile of charts her and Dr. Namid were responsible for getting through.

"Parkers need to be walked through the procedure this morning and then we go into surgery at 9:30. I am going to have you do the follow up with Brady for the rest of the morning. And then we will meet after lunch to go over the patients we can begin to discuss discharging patients, including Baby Teller."

"Abel Teller?" Tara asked, shocked, "You really think he is ready."

"I reviewed his chart last night and despite the huge odds against him, he has recovered beautifully. And I know his family is anxious to get him home," Dr. Namid said, looking up from his chart to study her.

"Do you not concur? Is there something I have missed to indicate sending him home would be a mistake?" Dr. Namid asked, concerned.

"No," Tara said, her voice unsteady, "No, I just...I just have become invested in this particular case and-"

"You've gotten attached," Dr. Namid said, nodding in understanding and smiling at her kindly.

"Yeah," Tara said, thinking,_ 'You have no idea'_. Abel Teller was by far the most involved case she had ever been on. She had even ended a relationship over her need to heal Abel and see him live.

"I will see you after our rounds," Dr. Namid said, splitting the pile of charts in half and going to his first case.

Tara nodded and sighed as her head raced for any indication that Abel needed to remain safely in the NICU, but she couldn't come up with any. Abel was as strong and determined to live as Tara was to have him survive the odds.

"Dr. Knowles?"

Tara spun to Margaret Murphy stood there, looking extremely concerned.

"Margaret, good morning," Tara said as she shifted the charts in her arms, wondering what was making Margaret have that expression on her face.

"I am sorry to bother you before rounds," Margaret said, "But there is someone here that insists on speaking with you."

"Oh?" Tara asked, glancing around for Jax, assuming it was him. Who else would need to see her?

"Her name is Agent Stahl," Margaret said, "She is some kind of law enforcement office. She wouldn't go into detail."

Tara nodded and set the charts down on the counter and said, "Oh...of course."

Margaret led the way to a conference room where a tall blond woman in a pantsuit was pacing, a badge attached to her belt. ATF..._shit_.

"Dr. Knowles," she said, training her eyes on Tara as if she was a case to crack, "My name is Agent Stahl. I was hoping you had a few moments to talk."

Tara nodded and looked to Margaret whose eyes were bouncing back and forth between Agent Stahl and Tara, obviously concerned and wondering if she was needed for support.

"Thanks Margaret," Tara said, "This shouldn't take long."

Margaret nodded and smiled before closing the door behind her as she left.

Tara turned back to Agent Stahl who was still studying Tara, wondering how she could crack her.

"Should we sit?" Tara asked, gesturing towards the table and chairs.

Agent Stahl nodded and slid the chair closest to her out and said, "I want to talk to you about your involvement with Jackson Teller and the Sons of Anarchy."

"My involvement?" Tara asked, leaning back in her chair and crossing her legs, going for a look of nonchalance.

"I have recently been made aware of a relationship between you and Jackson and that you have been spending a significant amount of time at the compound," Agent Stahl said.

"Compound? Do you mean the lot? Teller-Morrow?" Tara asked.

Agent Stahl smiled an indulgent smile and said, "Yes, Teller-Morrow Garage and the base for the Sons of Anarchy."

Tara bit back her frustration at Stahl's condescending tone and said, "I am not sure what 'significant amount of time' means, but yes, I have been there recently. Within the past week. Can I ask what this is all about?"

Agent Stahl inhaled deeply as if weighing her words, taking a pause before training her eyes on Tara's and saying, "I am investigating the Sons of Anarchy for Gun Trafficking and a string of illegal activities. You're smart. A doctor, Loyola med school, San Diego undergrad...so I am not going to mince words. As a doctor, you have a lot to lose if you get mixed up with this group."

Tara was shocked by her blunt statement. And by the fact that she had obviously researched Tara. Tara crossed her arms over her chest and said, "That sounds like a threat, but I am still not sure what you want."

"Information. Jax doesn't even have to be involved in any of the information you give to me," Stahl said, "Just general club information."

Tara smiled and let out a guffaw and said, "You seem to be confused. I have just been sleeping with Jackson for a little over a week now. If you think anyone in the MC is shooting the shit with me, you are sorely mistaken."

Agent Stahl smiled and leveled Tara with a glare...like she was the cat that caught the canary.

"You're involvement with Jackson Teller isn't limited to this past week," Agent Stahl said, smiling knowingly, "You have history. And I don't think you are just casual either."

Tara did a big mental gulp and reassessed. She needed to be strong. She couldn't be a loose thread this woman would continually try to pull. Tara squared her shoulders and straightened her spine before saying in a stern voice, "My relationship with Jax, no matter how long, is between me and Jax. And none of your business."

Agent Stahl smirked and said, "Spoken like a true Samcro woman. Gemma Teller would be proud."

Tara bit back the bile she tasted on her lips at that statement, and stood saying, "Is that all?"

"For now," Agent Stahl said, grabbing a card from her pocket and sliding it across the table towards Tara, "Don't hesitate if you get smart."

If Tara 'got smart' it was the same thing as getting dead. The club, no matter what her involvement with Jax, would kill her for ratting. The answer was simple.

Tara took the card and walked out of the conference room, leaving Stahl behind. She shook as she walked to the nearest supply closet to call Jax and have a nervous breakdown.

Jax

Jax strode through the halls, keeping an eye out for Tara. He had received her call and immediately panicked and came right away. She sounded so freaked.

Which caused him to freak and panic that somehow it was about Cameron and Tara's involvement with that janky clubhouse surgery. If Tara had been connected with that, she could be charged with harboring information on an internationally wanted

Then he called Gemma who told him the probability was that Agent Stahl was harassing Tara. The ATF were going at the Sons of Anarchy from a different angle… by interrogating the women of Samcro. Gemma, Cherry, Donna, and now Tara. Annoying, but at least it was manageable.

Jax just needed to talk to Tara. Which he dreaded. Would this push her over? He felt like every time anything for the club came up, he would wonder if that would be the last straw. It was nerve racking and exhausting.

Jax spotted Tara chatting with the doctor that helped care for Abel at the nurses' station. She looked calmer than he had predicted to find her, but he could tell she was still frazzled from her earlier.

Tara glanced up, catching his eye and looked back to Dr. Namid and excused herself. She walked towards Jax and pulled him towards a waiting area that was behind some closed doors.

"How are you?" Jax asked, grabbing her hands in his own and guiding her over to a set of chairs.

Tara shrugged and said, "I guess. It freaked me out. She sounded like she was threatening my career or something."

"What did you tell her?" Jax asked, wondering if Tara had given anything away.

"Nothing," Tara said, looking at him in frustrated disbelief, "I told her that our...whatever we are...is none of her business. I told her that I want' involved at all in the MC. But she knew about our history. She knew that I had been staying at the club…I don't know what to do."

"You did good, babe," Jax said, running his hands through her hair in an attempt to comfort her, "Just stick with what you told her."

Tara nodded but her eyes were bouncing around the room, and Jax could tell her mind was spinning. She didn't look any less worried. In fact, she looked more worried than she had before he had showed up.

"Just stay calm," Jax said, "Gemma told me that Stahl has been trying to go through women tied to members of the MC. Donna and Cherry are also being hit hard by Stahl right now."

Tara focused on him for a second, studying him as if she didn't know who he was. _This is it_, he thought, _She is going to end it...she will say being with him just wasn't worth it._

Tara looked down at her shoes, nodding slightly as she processed everything Jax had told her and the shocks that being associated with the Sons of Anarchy brought.

She stood suddenly causing Jax to follow suit.

"I should really get back," Tara said, avoiding eye contact with Jax.

Jax nodded, fiddling nervously with the rings on his fingers that once belonged to his father.

Tara turned to leave the room, but Jax reached for her elbow, desperate not to let her walk out on him without some resolution.

Tara looked at him uncertainly, but he pulled her to him anyway and kissed her lips softly. She didn't respond to his kiss though, which only doubled the growing ball of anxiety he felt in his stomach.

She broke the kiss and gave a tight, forced smile before darting out of the room and walking towards the nurses' station. Jax watched as she grabbed some charts and strode down a different wing, disappearing from sight.

Jax rubbed his face, thinking of a solution to his problem. He couldn't think of shit though.

He decided to go check on Abel as he thought about it.

He walked to the NICU and entered the little room where Abel was napping. He looked so good. He loomed over the crib staring at his as he slept.

"What do you think I should do little man?" Jax whispered quietly to Abel.

"Even though Abel has improved by leaps and bounds, it might be awhile before he can give you an answer."

Jax turned to see Dr. Namid standing in the door, smiling kindly at Jax as he looked over Abel's stats.

"Hi Doc," Jax said, smiling, "How is he doing today? He looks good."

"He is doing very well," Dr. Namid said, jotting notes down on something as he read off the screens attached to Abel, "Should only be a couple days now."

"A couple days? For what?" Jax asked, concerned. Did Abel need another surgery? He wasn't ready for that. Hell Jax wasn't ready for that.

Dr. Namid looked up in confusion and said, "To go home, of course. I thought Dr. Knowles had told you earlier today."

"Oh," Jax said, shaking his head as if to clear it, "Yeah, she did...I...I just forgot. But I wanted to ask...um, some questions. So when he comes home, in two days…" _Two fucking days this fragile tiny human was coming to live with him!_ Jax would be responsible for taking care of him.

"Will we need to have a nurse or someone come check in on him or..."

"We will go over all that when we set discharge date and give you specific instructions. We want you to be very comfortable and secure when you go home. So don't worry," Dr. Namid said, closing Abel's chart and walking out of the tiny room.

_Don't worry?_ He had to be kidding. It just occurred to Jax that he was a father. He was responsible for the care and wellbeing of Abel.

This week he had too much on his plate. The ATF bugging all the women in his life, Abel coming home, and Tara wigging out about the ATF and how complicated things got now that she was with Jax.

His cell phone rang and he growled in frustration, glancing once more at Abel before leaving to deal with the next crisis.

**Thanks for reading everyone! I hope you enjoyed this long awaited update. Please leave a review or a message.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi everyone! Thanks for your patience. This update took me longer than the others for some reason. Everything I read through it, I wanted to change it and now I am forcing myself to post it! Hopefully y'all like it though.**

**So I know you are all used to me deviating from the show, but I really did one in this chapter, so I hope you like it. Thanks so much for reading and for all your patience as I get these out.**

**Enjoy and please be sure to let me know what you think!**

The Return

Chapter 8

Jax

Jax woke up with a jerk, having had a terrible dream. As he realized it was a dream, he looked over to Tara who slept beside him. Jax sighed in relief and relaxed his tense muscles and settled closer to Tara who snuggled closer as she slept.

Jax looked up at the ceiling as he remembered that today was the day. The day that Abel came home. He was ecstatic, but terrified at the same time. What if he fucked it up? What if Abel got sick just because he missed something.

"Morning," Tara murmured sleepily, her eyes still closed.

Jax pulled her into him and kissed her softly, flinging his leg over hers and rubbing his thumb across her soft cheek. Tara cracked her eyes open against the light and then quickly shut them again, pouting at the bright sun streaming through the window. Jax chuckled and kissed her nose and then her lips again.

"I love you," Tara murmured as he released her lips and kissed her chin.

Jax froze, knowing he felt the same, but afraid at the same time. He loved her, but he couldn't say it. He wasn't ready. He hadn't loved anyone since she had left when he was seventeen years old and he had loved her so much back then that she had taken over almost every part of him. He couldn't afford to go there again.

He hugged her close, kissing her deeply in an effort to distract her from the realization that he couldn't say it yet. She didn't seem upset and kissed him back, her fingers tangling in his hair as she kissed him deeply.

Jax groaned as he rolled them so he was perched over her and her legs immediately circled his waist, cradling his hips as she arched against him.

Jax reached down, massaging her as he continued to kiss her.

Tara pushed his boxers down impatiently and he slipped inside of her quickly and rested there a minute to let her feel him. She panted against his neck and rolled her hips in encouragement to get him to move.

Jax entwined their fingers and eased her hands above her head as he rolled his hips slowly into her. He couldn't tell her he loved her, but he could do his best to show her. Tara moaned, arching her neck and panting in pleasure as he set a slow, steady rhythm.

He wasn't used to it yet. Having sex and opening his eyes to her. The real her. Jax had always gone through girls to deaden the emptiness he had felt since she had left. But whenever he opened his eyes, the girls always changed back to someone who wasn't Tara. Until now.

Jax released her hands, wrapping his arms around her, still buried in her as he pulled her with him so she was sitting in his lap. "Look at me."

Tara opened her eyes and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pressing her chest tight against his causing him to shiver in pleasure as he thrust up into her. He could feel her walls tighten around him, putting beautiful pressure on his cock.

"Are you close?" Jax gasped out, feeling the familiar tension in his balls.

Tara nodded and Jax arched his hips so that he hit that spot inside her that made her eyes flutter and her breath hitch. Jax grunted in an effort to get her to fall over the edge so he could.

"Come on babe, come for me," Jax pleaded against her lips.

Tara nodded and rolled her hips down as Jax kissed down her chest, sucking a nipple into his mouth as she came hard around him. Jax growled in pleasure and sped his hips and thrust into her deeply as he came and came.

Jax rolled onto his back, dragging Tara with him as they both panted to catch their breaths. Tara began to roll off of him, but Jax held her in place, running his hands up and down her back and murmured, "Stay. For just a second."

Tara nodded, kissing down his chest as her breathing began to regulate. Jax pulled her lips back up to his greedily and kissed her slow and passionately. It was really her here. It was the best feeling in the world.

Tara

Tara cradled Abel Teller in her arms, rocking and cooing to him gently as they waited for Jax and Gemma to come and get him.

"I heard he is getting out."

Tara looked up to find Wendy in the doorway, looking noticeably better.

"He is," Tara said gently, realizing sadly that probably wouldn't be the last time someone said that about Abel Teller if he decided to follow in his father's footsteps.

Wendy smiled lovingly at Abel and asked, "Can I hold him?"

"Of course," Tara said immediately, "You're his mother."

Wendy nodded and smiled, but Tara could sense nervousness in her face that Tara was familiar with. New parents were scared enough, but new parents with a child that had been born as sick as Abel were absolutely terrified.

"Yep, just cradle his head," Tara advised as she handed him off, "Good. That's real good."

Wendy and Tara were silent as they both sat enthralled by little Abel.

"Thank you," Wendy said softly as she looked down at Abel.

"For what?" Tara asked.

"For looking after him. For saving him," Wendy said looking up at Tara.

"That's my job," Tara said, shrugging.

"And thank you for all the things you said," Wendy said, pausing briefly as she struggled for words, "You know before."

Tara nodded and waved it off and said, "You look better."

"I am being moved to a halfway house," Wendy said, looking back down at Abel, "This time it's gotta stick."

Tara nodded, even though Wendy wasn't even looking at her.

"Well, I will give you a minute," Tara said, backing away to go to the back supply room. It was far enough away that Wendy would have some privacy, but close enough that Abel was safe if Wendy tried anything stupid.

The door to the nursery opened and Jax looked from Wendy and Abel to Tara in surprise.

"What are you doing here?" Jax asked Wendy suspiciously, "You left rehab?"

"No, I am being transferred to a halfway house. I wanted to catch up with Abel before I went in," Wendy explained, her tone defensive.

Jax nodded and looked down at Abel and said, "Can you believe how big he has gotten?"

Wendy gushed and Tara quietly slipped out of the room knowing Jax was there for Abel. She watched Jax and Wendy look down lovingly at Abel through the window.

They looked...well, they looked like a family. Almost normal even. Tara swallowed a lump that had magically formed in her throat and looked down at the chart in her hand to collect her thoughts and school her emotions.

When she looked up, she noticed Wendy reach for Jax's hand. For some reason, the gesture bothered her, despite its innocence. When Jax upturned his palm, it nearly broke her heart. All her insecurities about their relationship flared up in full force and she had to force herself to leave the nursery. She couldn't watch such an intimate moment.

Jax

Jax walked out of the hospital with Wendy and asked if she needed a lift to the house. Her stuff was there and Jax wondered if offering to have her stay there was a mistake. Jax was actually surprised how understanding Tara had been about the whole Wendy situation. He was glad that Wendy had opted to stay at the Ramada.

"Thanks for...well, for everything Jax," Wendy said, "I can do this and I am going to."

Jax nodded encouragingly and said, "I know. Until then, I got Abel."

Wendy nodded and hugged Jax and said, "I'll miss you."

"You too. But you're coming to the homecoming Gemma is planning right?"

She looked uneasy at the mention of Gemma, but Jax reassured her it wouldn't be a problem.

"Sure," Wendy said, smiling nervously, "I will meet you there?"

Jax nodded and Wendy climbed into the cab and waved out the window as it pulled away.

Jax watched it drive off and then turned and slowly walked back into the hospital. He walked towards the NICU looking for Tara, but not spotting her.

"Mr. Teller," Dr. Namid called, "I have some paperwork for you to fill out for Abel's discharge."

Jax nodded and looked around for Tara. "I thought Dr. Knowles would be helping me discharge Abel."

"She got pulled into a case," Dr. Namid said, "So I told her I would explain everything to you."

Jax nodded and began going over the discharge instructions. Jax's head spun with all the information and he wished Tara was here to reassure him that he could do this.

"And of course," Dr. Namid finished, "If there are any concerns or if you ever feel like something isn't right with Abel, don't hesitate to contact either myself or Dr. Knowles. You can always bring him in as well."

Jax nodded as Gemma walked up and asked, "Is he ready?"

Jax nodded and said, "Yeah, I think so."

"Good," Gemma said, "I have been at the house today setting up a little Welcome Home get together."

Jax smiled and nodded, "Yeah, Wendy will be there."

Gemma pursed her lips and Jax shot her a look, "Don't start. She is Abel's mother."

Gemma looked annoyed, but nodded, "And Tara?"

Jax nodded and said, "She said she would stop by later."

He hoped the party didn't last long. He wanted to be alone with his son in their new home. And he didn't want everyone's eyes on him as he took his first few steps into parenthood.

Tara

Tara clasped her necklace on, having changed from her scrubs to her jeans and blue shirt. She checked her makeup over and figured it would have to hold up for a little longer since she didn't have the energy to touch it up.

She had a long day and now had to deal with a party at Jax's to welcome Abel home. She couldn't help but feel worried and not just for Abel. Tara had gotten attached to little Abel and losing the ability to check on him as much as she wanted during the day was going to be tough.

She also was worried about this party. Gemma would be there...and Wendy. She and Wendy seemed to be getting along, despite the awkwardness that inevitably existed because of Jax. Now she had to slap on a smile and endure the evening.

Tara grabbed her purse and her keys before locking up her office and making her way to her dad's old Cutlass. The car ran surprisingly well for how old it was.

She made her way to the party, parking a few houses down. She sat in the front seat for a few minutes, preparing herself for this party. This was the first public "couple" thing her and Jax were doing. She wanted the focus to belong where it should belong. On Abel.

Tara climbed out of the car and made her way to Jax's house, spotting Gemma's little sports car and Opie's truck. Opie was always kind and Donna had really warmed up to her so she would stick with them if the worst come to worst she had a plan.

Tara knocked lightly, hearing the rowdy crowd and light music through the door before she just opened it and stepped into the little house.

All eyes looked to her and some called out, but others looked to Wendy and then to Jax and not so subtly to see if there was tension brewing. Jax looked up from Abel and smiled at Tara and nodded at her in greeting. She smiled and gave a small wave before heading into the kitchen to grab a beer.

"We were wondering when you would show, Doc," Piney said, coming up behind her for a drink. Tara smiled and said, "Long day at the hospital."

Piney nodded and grabbed a beer and said, "Don't hide out in here too long. You don't want them to think you're scared."

Tara smiled and nodded, "Yeah."

Piney patted her on the shoulder before leaving.

Tara walked out to the living room and spotted Jax sitting on one of the leather couches. She made her way to his side so she could say hello. Tara sat on the arm of the couch and felt a pair of eyes following her. She glanced up to where Wendy was, trying to look laid back, but her shoulders tense. Tara stopped herself from kissing Jax as she considered the awkwardness that kissing him might bring.

Tara froze for a second, hearing Jax ask her something, but something inside of her snapped. She and Jax were in a relationship and she was tired of tiptoeing around everyone. Gemma, Wendy, Clay...the fact that she couldn't kiss Jax hello was suddenly pissing her off.

She looked down into Jax's guarded eyes and leaned forward and kissed him lightly. Jax broke the kiss, his eyes shooting across the room in Wendy's direction before he stood and asked her to talk. Tara sighed, knowing he was pissed.

She reluctantly followed, feeling more than Wendy's eyes on her now. She shouldn't have come to this damn party. She was already in a foul mood and now she was in an even worst mood since she was going to get lectured.

Tara followed Jax into Abel's new nursery and asked, "What's the matter?" even though she already knew the answer.

"Nothing, it's just…" Jax said, eyeing her warily, "Wendy is like a heartbeat sober. We don't want to do anything to set her off."

"Because she is still in love with you?" Tara snapped. _Whoa...where did that come from? _she wondered. But as she thought about it, she thought it had some merit. Why would an innocent kiss cause this sort of reaction from so many people if that wasn't true?

"No," Jax snapped back, "Look, I am just saying we should be cool. With whatever this is around her."

_What?_ she angrily thought, "Whatever '_this' _is?" she repeated angrily, squinting her eyes at him.

"You know what I mean," Jax said, leveling her with some sort of stare that she honest to God didn't understand.

"No," Tara responded angrily, "I don't." Fuck, this morning she had said she loved him. Didn't that mean anything to him? She knew he wasn't ready to say he loved her back, and she was fine with that because more often than not, Jax _showed _her he loved her. It was a big step and she would rather have him say it when he was ready. But she didn't realize until now that he wasn't even ready to label this between them...well, this vague bullshit wasn't something she was going to put up with.

Tara turned and began walking out of the nursery when Jax grabbed her hand and said in a pissed off voice, "Tara-"

"No!" Tara said, not able to stand his touch in this moment. Something in her snapped and she tried to jerk her hand away, but he held tight, so she did the next thing she could think and slapped him across the face. She looked at him in anger and shock at the turn this night had taken and then turned and left the nursery, ignoring the look of shock and hurt on Jax's face.

"Tara," she head Jax call out behind her as she stalked down the hall. She ignored him, focusing on her goal of getting the hell out of the house.

"Tara!" Jax called out again, loud enough to be heard, but not enough to let the whole party become aware they were in the middle of a fight.

Tara squeezed by Juice in the kitchen and grabbed her purse before leaving.

She scowled at Juice and then at Jax who was right behind her now before marching through the front door and slamming it angrily behind her.

Tara felt her lip wobble as she walked down the block to her car, hearing the front door open behind her. She glanced over her shoulder and to find Juice. She sighed and said, "I don't need you to follow me home."

Juice just shrugged and Tara knew she would be followed one way or another. She stalked to her car and slid behind the wheel just as the door opened again with Opie and his family. She sighed and wished for the second time that night that she hadn't come to this damn party.

Jax

Jax sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as his mind raced with thoughts about Tara. He could tell when she walked in that she was in a shitty mood, and it had turned to tumultuous as the night went on.

Opie nodded to him as he escorted Donna out to the car.

Jax sighed, looking to Wendy who was cradling Abel and rubbing her thumb against his little pursed lips as he slept. It had been a big day for Abel and he had the luxury of passing out when it got to be too much. Jax wished he could do that.

Jax looked around the room. His mother was in the kitchen, tossing beer cans in recycling bag, Piney was nodding off in one of the chairs in the corner and there were some stragglers helping clean up and clear out. Juice walked through the front door and nodded at Jax once before going into the kitchen.

Jax sighed in relief, wondering what he was going to do about Tara. She gone from mildly irritated to extremely pissed in no time. And he knew he could have handled tonight better, but at the same time he thought a lot of this had to do with him not saying he loved her this morning.

Gemma walked up to him and said, "You okay, baby?"

Jax smiled and nodded, looking once more towards Abel. To be honest, he was worried about being alone with him. What if something happened? He had really been hoping Tara would have stayed. It was nice that she was Abel's doctor. She was a safety net.

"He is going to be fine," Gemma said, guessing his train of thought, "He is a hell of a fighter. A Teller through and through."

Jax smiled and nodded and said, "You heading out soon?"

"Yeah," Gemma said, running her hand through his hair, "I was going to put a load in the dishwasher."

"You don't have to," Jax said.

His cell phone interrupted their conversation, and Jax picked up listening to Wayne Unsur in horror. Donna…

Tara

Tara paced her living room, anxious and on edge. She had been since she had gotten home hours ago. She was unsettled over her and Jax's fight. She was also nervous for Abel, who had wheedled his way into her heart. Tara knew Jax could do this parent thing, but he wouldn't know the signs to look for if something was wrong health wise.

Making a decision, Tara went to her bedroom and slipped on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt quickly, slipping her feet quickly into a pair of sneakers before shutting off all the lights in her dad's old house and locking it up.

She wanted to apologize to Jax for starting the fight and even she could admit that her behavior tonight had been slightly erratic. She didn't want to fight with Wendy, especially over a guy who couldn't even define what they had as a relationship. And Wendy had been through enough shit lately.

The other part of her nightly visit tonight would include telling Jax what she expected and wanted from their relationship. If Jax couldn't give it to her then...well, she would need to regroup and make some hard decisions.

Tara steered her car through the empty dark streets of Charming, feeling as if there was something deeply wrong. She didn't like it and picked up the speed to Jax's house, anxious to get there and check in on her men.

As she pulled up to the dark house, everything seemed fine. She turned the car off and walked up the walk quickly, grabbing the key from under the welcome mat, and keying in. She crept through the quiet house until she heard the unmistakable sound of…

Tara eased the ajar door open to Wendy and Jax. Tara gasped and Jax and Wendy both jumped in shock, not having heard her come in. Tara stared for a second in shock as Jax clambered off Wendy, a look of shocked disbelief on his face.

For the second time that night, she turned and stalked angrily though the house for the front door, hoping Abel was good because she couldn't stick around to check on him.

"Tara!"

Tara cursed as she banged her knee on a table by the front hallway, wrenching the door open and shutting it behind her, not wanting to wake Abel.

"TARA!" Jax screamed as he ran out of the house.

"I can't believe I came to apologize," Tara seethed, "I am the biggest fucking moron."

"Tara, wait!" he begged, reaching for her.

Tara backed up and pointed a finger to him, "Don't you fucking touch me."

Jax froze, his face would be comical to her if she wasn't so hurt. For some reason though, he stayed put, probably because her face showed how serious he was about it.

Tara jogged the rest of her way to her car and pulled out of the drive, her tires making a slight whining sound in protest.

She really needed to start listening to the sane part of her brain that told her to run when it came to Jackson Nathaniel Teller.

**So...I let Tara catch him cheating on her with Wendy because this got glossed over in the show and I haven't found a story that addresses this yet. It just pissed me off that the same day that Tara says I Love You, Jax goes and sleeps with Wendy...he is an ass. I am sorry, but it's true. Anyway, we will see where this takes us.**

**Please tell me your thoughts!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi everyone! Good to be back! I have a new computer (the old one died for good) and I have a new determination to start my updating again! I have missed you all and I hope you all haven't abandoned hope that I would return! **

**Thanks so much to those of you who have been so patient and stuck with me. I hope you love the update.**

**Enjoy!**

The Return

Chapter 9

Jax

Jax walked back into the house to find Wendy standing in nothing but his tshirt. He sighed and rubbed his face as she looked at him in concern.

"Jesus, I am sorry, I didn't know you were that serious," Wendy said, rubbing her hands together anxiously, her rings clicking together.

Jax sighed. They weren't serious. Not really. Hell, they weren't even labeled, but at the same time, they had _always _been serious. Since they were kids, Tara and Jax had a connection that was deeper and more serious than anything he had ever was nobody else Jax wanted.

"Yeah," Jax replied finally, walking towards the couch and flopping down on it.

"What happened tonight to make you forget that?" Wendy asked, sitting in the adjacent chair.

Jax rubbed his eyes and in a soft voice said, "Donna is dead. She was killed tonight on the way home from the party."

Wendy gasped in shock and whispered, "Holy shit. Opie?"

"He was there as they were pulling her out of the car," Jax said, rubbing his brow. There was so much shit on his plate. He was worried that Opie would never bounce back from this and worried that Tara wouldn't forgive him for Wendy.

"I think I am going to head out," Wendy said, standing and walking towards the back bedroom. Jax didn't know how he had fucked everything up in just a day, but he really had.

Jax stood and walked towards Abel's room to check on him. He crept into the darkened nursery and peered down at his sleeping son. He reached into the crib and brushed his fingers over his light blond hair. It was so soft.

He heard Wendy creep up behind him and he glanced at her before looking back down at their son.

"He is perfect," she whispered, almost reverently.

Jax only nodded in agreement and then walked out with Wendy following him out.

"I am going to get clean and become better for him, Jax," Wendy said, determined as she glanced back at Abel's room. She looked teary at the idea of leaving her son, but Jax smiled and said, "You can do this Wendy. I know you can. I'll take care of him until you get back."

Wendy nodded and walked towards the front door. She turned as she opened it and smiled at him, "Sorry about Tara."

Jax just nodded and she left. Jax headed back to Abel's room, sinking into the rocking chair as his head spun with each new crisis. Donna...Opie...Tara...Wendy...Abel... Gemma...Clay…

He didn't know when or how he fell asleep in the chair, but he did.

Tara

"That's great," Tara said, jotting information down, "Thank you so much Dr. Sumner. I will call to confirm once I talk to Dr. Namid here and arrange a flight back."

Tara bid the doctor goodbye then hung up the phone and walked out of the conference she used to call Chicago Presbyterian. She had talked to her old attending and he had offered her a fellowship, which was unheard of mid-year.

Josh Kohn was in jail and would be in jail for a very long time, so she didn't have to be scared going back to Chicago. _More importantly, there isn't anything holding me here_, she thought waspishly as she remembered the night before. Jax and Wendy...Tara shook her head, trying to shake the image right out of her head. It didn't work.

"Dr. Knowles," Dr. Namid said, catching up to her down the hall.

"Dr. Namid," Tara said, feeling a lump form in her throat. He really had been nothing but amazing to her and an incredible teacher, "Hi."

"I got your message that you wanted to talk to me," he said, checking his pager, "What can I do for you?"

"Oh, well, I...I was thinking of transferring back to Chicago," Tara said, "I got this offer from Chicago Presbyterian and because of my history with them I just...I feel awful."

"Well," Dr. Namid said as if in a daze, "That's...that's great news. If this is what you want then congratulations. I am just sorry to lose you. I felt like you really fit in here."

Tara swallowed back her tears and the guilt that crept up, "Me too, and I have loved working with you. I just...there is a lot going on in my personal life here that has made it clear that Charming isn't the best place for me right now."

Dr. Namid nodded, but he was frowning at the daunting task of filling Tara's shoes.

"Let me know what you need from me to make the transfer easier," Dr. Namid said kindly.

Tara nodded, resisting the urge to hug him for being so understanding.

"Thank you so much, Dr. Namid," Tara said in a thick voice.

He smiled at her and nodded before walking away towards the nursery.

Tara checked her watch and gasped. She was late for her next pre-op consult. Tara headed to the nurses' station and grabbed her chart, her mind flitting over everything she needed to do to close the book on Charming.

Jax

Jax called Tara numerous times, trying to track her down to talk, but she wasn't answering his calls. Clearly she was pissed and he would have to find time to go and seek her out. His best bet would be at the hospital, where she couldn't cause a scene.

Jax walked into the clubhouse, and Clay called out to him, "Church, half hour."

Jax was really not looking forward to that. They would be digging into the events of the previous night and attempt to formulate a plan of attack on whoever was responsible for the death of Donna Winston.

Opie had been incommunicado since the events of the previous night, which was understandable. Jax needed to make time to go over to see him though and offer his support.

Jax checked his phone to see if there was any response from the texts and calls to Tara, and predictably, there was none. He exhaled deeply, feeling an ulcer developing in his abdomen from the steady stream of shit this week had thrown at him.

Jax stubbed out the cigarette he had been smoking and as he looked across the lot and watched as members of the club start to straggle in for the meeting. He scrolled through his contacts and called the hospital unit, where Abel was.

"NICU, this is Sherry," a voice answered on the other end of the line.

"Hi, this is Jax Teller," Jax said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, "I was wondering if Dr. Knowles was available."

"Is this regarding a patient?" Sherry asked.

"No, well, my son was a patient of Dr. Knowles," Jax said, "But it's not an emergency."

"Well, I can leave a message for Dr. Knowles to get back to you," Sherry explained, "She is in surgery and if you give me your number I will be sure she gets it."

"Oh, uh, that's okay, I'll just call back," Jax said, clicking his phone shut. If he left his name and number, he definitely wouldn't get a call back. A face to face visit was the best way to handle it.

"Jax! We're starting," Tig called across the lot. Jax jumped up and walked towards the clubhouse, his mind jumping between Tara and Opie.

Tara

Tara untied her scrub mask and threw it in the nearest trashcan, walking down the hall as she prepared to talk to the family members of the little girl she had just performed surgery on.

Tara walked up to the nurses' station, grabbing the chart and began writing her surgical notes into them. As she filled the pages with her detailed notes and after care treatment plan she heard, "Dr. Knowles?"

Tara turned to Sherry,one of the clerks for her unit.

"Hi Sherry," she said, "Can I help you with something?"

"Yes I am sorry to interrupt," Sherry said, "But a young man named Jax Teller. I asked if he wanted me to leave a message, but he didn't leave a number. He said you were his son's doctor."

Tara's eyes widened fractionally and she shook her head and said, "Actually Abel Teller's doctor is Dr. Namid officially. If he calls back refer him to Dr. Namid and let Namid know Mr. Teller is trying to get in contact."

Sherry nodded and Tara thanked her before turning back to her chart. Her heart was hammering painfully in her chest and she put her hand to her forehead as she leaned against the nurses' station in an attempt to get a grip on herself. Why couldn't he just leave her alone?

It was a question she had asked herself every time he hurt her, which was more time than she could count.

Tara took a deep breath in, held it in for a second and then slowly released it in an effort to calm herself down. Work...focus on work.

As Tara finished off her notes, snapping the lid closed on the chart, her mind strayed to Donna Winston. Of all the people in Charming, Donna had changed the most. She was still as in love with Opie, but that was about all that had stayed the same for the young mother.

In high school, Donna had been fascinated by club life and being a club wife. She like the "community" that came with dating and marrying a Samcro member. But since Tara had been back, she had heard that Donna had woken up to the harsh realities that came with the life. Tara even learned that Donna was planning on leaving Opie and taking her kids with her. Initially this had shocked Tara, but apparently Donna had good reason to want out.

When Dr. Namid had found her this morning and told her about the tragedy, Tara couldn't help think, _That could be me_. Donna had been way less involved with club business than Tara. Donna was just an old lady that helped make big group meals occasionally with the other old ladies. Tara had been pulled into the club as a club doctor and lied to the police for Opie. What if her involvement didn't end there? What if it led to more? The thought terrified her.

As Tara changed into her scrubs that morning, she was more sure than ever that she was making the right choice after a night of tossing and turning and wondering if she was making a snap decision. But the truth was...Charming was poisonous.

Her childhood was riddled with bad memories, beginning with her mother's death and ending with her leaving her drunk dad's driveway in the middle of the night. That didn't even include all the ups and downs that her and Jax's teen romance provided.

Tara had been sure then that she needed to get out, and she was sure now. Really, she was glad that she had caught Wendy and Jax. It opened her eyes to how it would be if she stayed. And if she stayed now, she knew she would always suspect him...never trust him. Is this really the guy she wanted to tie herself to?

Maybe if they weren't in Charming and Jax wasn't Samcro...but he was and he would never leave Charming. He hadn't ten years ago and he wouldn't now.

**Hi there! Please leave some reviews/messages to let me know what you think! If you follow my other stories, all will be updated this weekend. Hope everyone has a great weekend!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi y'all! I love update day! Hope you all are having a good week! We are almost to Friday! I hope you all are loving the updates. Thanks so all who have read and been in touch! It means a lot!**

**Enjoy!**

The Return

Chapter 10

Jax

Jax sighed as he woke up to Abel crying in the little crib next to him. Since the party, Jax had wheeled the little crib in his bedroom since he was up all night anyway. The first few nights he crashed in the nursery, but the futon wasn't as comfortable as his bed.

Jax rolled out of bed and smiled down at his son. He picked him up and shushed him as he rocked him. Jax carried Abel to the kitchen and took one of the bottles out of the fridge and began heating it. He then walked to the nursery to change him.

As he finished changing Abel, he heard his mom key into the house and call out to him. He answered as he gently dressed Abel, kissing his feet causing the baby to squirm and smile.

He heard his mom moving in the kitchen, probably making coffee, before he picked Abel up and headed into the kitchen.

Gemma beamed at the both of them and set her coffee down and reached for Abel.

"Morning baby," she cooed, grabbing the bottle from the warmer and saying, "You hungry sweetness?" before offering it to a greedy Abel.

Jax poured himself a cup of coffee and sat heavily at the kitchen table and rubbed his face in an effort to wake himself up.

"Long night?" Gemma asked as she perched on the chair across from him.

Jax shrugged and said, "Not bad."

"Are you overwhelmed?" Gemma asked in concern, "I could take Abel a few nights a week."

Jax shook his head, "No, Abel is staying with me. I will be fine, but thanks anyway."

Gemma nodded and Jax could see the little glimmer of pride in her eyes. He could do this.

Jax's mind flitted through the list of shit he had to get done today. He needed to get to the bottom of what happened to Donna or Opie and Piney would lose it and take the matter into their own hands. He didn't need one more thing to blow up.

His mind flashed to Tara and he looked down at the table, studying his hands in an effort to take his mind off of her. But it didn't work. He wouldn't be able to find any peace until he sat down and had it out with her.

"What is it?" Gemma asked in concern, "Is it the Donna thing?"

Jax looked up and said, "It's...everything."

Gemma studied him and leaned back, bouncing Abel a little faster on her knee as she blew out an aggravated sigh. "Tara," she muttered under her breath shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

"Don't start," Jax said sternly. He knew where his mom stood on Tara and he just didn't want to hear it.

"She still has her hooks in you, Jackson," Gemma said, "You have to focus Jax. You don't have time to deal with that...woman," she said, noting Jax's stormy expression.

"Leave it alone," Jax said, "I will do what I want when it comes to Tara."

Gemma pursed her lips, but it seemed she was done for the day because she kissed the top of Abel's head and asked, "I was going to go into the office this morning and take Abel with me."

Jax nodded and said, "Good. Thank you."

Gemma drained her coffee and stood, patting Abel on the back to burp him. She leaned down and kissed Jax on the forehead and then grabbed her purse and keys.

Jax sighed and stood, walking his and Gemma's cups to the sink before heading towards the back of the house where the bathroom was. He showered and dressed quickly, having made a plan during his shower. He had a tight day and he was starting it with the hardest thing. Tara.

Jax quickly dressed in his standard t shirt, cut, jeans, and white sneakers. He slipped his rings on and glanced at his reflection in the mirror. He wanted to make this work with Tara more than anything, and not just for his sake. As he thought about his life, and Abel's life, he knew he wanted Tara by his side. He wanted Abel's mother to be Tara.

Jax knew it all rode on their next conversation. He was nervous as hell.

Jax grabbed locked up the house, climbed on his bike and steered it towards the hospital.

Tara

Tara smiled as she walked out of surgery. It was a really hard case, and Dr. Namid let her be the point surgeon as a going away present. And she had done beautifully. It still amazed her with each child's life she touched. Each person she saved. She could have just saved the future President of the United States, or a doctor or nurse, or a school teacher. That child would live and do great things because of her.

She wondered if that feeling would ever fade. She doubted it. It was such a high.

Tara walked down the hall with two of the scrub nurses, asking them to gather the family in the consultation room so she could talk to them. She glanced up and her heart stopped. Jax.

Her smile immediately fell from her face and her heart pumped irregularly as it processed all the hurt and pain and anger she felt at seeing him. He looked up at her as if he was facing an enraged lioness. Which he was. She was fucking pissed and surprised she hadn't ripped his head off at this point.

She was just frozen in place. How dare he come here to her work! She shook her head and walked towards him, leaving the nurses to stare after her curiously.

"Can I have a minute?" Jax asked quietly, giving her _those _eyes...and that tortured look. Tara told herself to remain strong. He certainly didn't look tortured the last time she had seen him, so he had no right to give her that look.

Tara thought about telling him to fuck off, but as her colleagues and patients walked by, she knew she didn't want to start a scene. She only had a week here left and she didn't want to tarnish her otherwise impeccable work history here just because of this asshole.

Tara gave a curt nod and gestured to a consultation room. Jax held the door open for her and she filed in, her head held high as she walked to one of the chairs and sat down.

Jax sat down in a chair facing her and sighed as he rested his elbows on his knees. Tara could tell he was trying to gather his thoughts and figure out how to begin.

"I heard about Donna," Tara began, although why that was the first thing out of her mouth she had no idea.

Jax nodded and said, "Opie is pretty torn up."

"God," Tara said in a horrified whisper, thinking about what Opie was going through. The guilt alone...it must be killing him.

"Anybody know what happened?" she asked, wondering how something so horrible could come to pass. Why the hell they were talking about the Winston family when there was so much more to say was beyond Tara. Shouldn't she be giving him hell?

Jax shook his head, and shot her a glance, "No," answering her question.

As she looked him over, she noticed that his shoulders were slumped from all the pressure he was surely dealing with. He had little crow's feet in the outer corner of his eyes, for God's sake. He was thirty. He was way too young for that much stress. Tara was part of his burden, even though he did a pretty good job of fucking this up for them all by himself.

Tara felt herself deflate from all the anger and hurt. She wasn't moving on her stance from them or it being over. It just would never work. Not with who they had become. They had grown up and their differences and viewpoints on life had just widened with their time apart. The struggle both of them felt was them trying to fight that gap and those differences.

"Look," Jax said, interrupting her inner revelations, "I know you're busy. I just wanted to make sure you were all right."

Tara looked at him, feeling the anger bubble up, but she tamped it down and said, "I am fine." _Yeah, but we aren't fine_, she wanted to add. Jax studied her and Tara leaned forward and said, "I...I don't want to do this anymore."

Jax looked at her in confusion and she said, "I am angry and hurt, but more than anything, I am realizing that there is just too much going on in your life. There isn't room for me and even if there was...I don't think we are good for each other."

Jax looked dumbfounded and hurt. His crow's feet were now deeper than they had been minutes ago.

"I believe you are a good man, with a big heart," Tara admitted, "And I think you try to do as much good as you can, but you live a life I don't think I'll ever understand."

"What does that mean?" Jax asked.

"I mean...I don't think we want the same things from life. I love you. I think a part of me will always love you. But I will never be okay with the club or with Charming. I don't think you want me either, you just haven't admitted it. We see relationships...sex...we see that all different. I can't pretend anymore."

Jax shook his head and began to protest, but Tara was talking and she was going to finish, "I am not saying your way is bad, but it's not my way. If I were to stay with you, I don't think I would ever feel secure a day in my life that you wouldn't cheat on me."

"I won't," Jax said adamantly.

"Really?" Tara asked, "What about the next time we fight? Or the next time someone close gets killed and you need a release from feeling. You see sex as a coping mechanism. I don't. It's...something special to me. It means more."

Jax sighed and shook his head, looking down at the floor, once more looking for a response. Tara bit the bullet and said, "I called Chicago Presbyterian. They are taking me back on."

If Jax had been surprised before, he was shocked now. And pissed. He leaned back, shaking his head and scoffing in disbelief.

"It's for the best," Tara explained, hoping he would get it. If they weren't going to be together, there was no excuse to stay.

Jax leveled her with a look mixed with anger and aggression. She knew by his expression he was biting back his words. Apparently though, he couldn't hold back because he asked, "Don't you get tired of it?"

Tara looked at him with a baffled look, scrunching her eyebrows in question. _Tired_?

"Running?" Jax clarified.

"I am not running," Tara said, pissed. God she thought they were going to end this amicably, but apparently he was determined to piss her off. Jax jerked his hand out of hers and paced the room as she began to try and explain.

"What's holding me here?" Tara asked gently.

"Your life is a series of hit and runs," Jax flung at her, ignoring her question, "The minute someone makes you feel uncomfortable or tests your loyalty, little Tara packs her bags and hits the road."

Tara saw red at his accusations. She shook her head and said, "Testing my loyalty? That's what you call fucking your ex-wife? Testing my loyalty? Yeah, I guess that makes me pretty fucking uncomfortable."

"It didn't mean shit," Jax replied angrily, looking at her as if it was obvious, "None of the hundreds of women I have slept with have fucking meant shit. I barely see their faces!"

Tara grimaced in disgust...how did he think this was going to help his case with her? She definitely didn't need to hear about his sex life.

"I married Wendy because I was lonely!" Jax exclaimed, his tone now loud with anger and desperation for her to listen, "Because I got tired of the endless disconnect!"

Tara flinched at his words, wondering where he was going with this.

"It was just a sad timeout," he said, moving closer to her, locking eyes with Tara in the way that had gripped her since she was a teenager, "Because when I am inside someone, there's only one face I see!"

Tara inhaled and looked down, not able to believe all that he was revealing. He had never, ever been this honest with her. Since she had been back, he had held her at arm's length, but apparently he wasn't doing that anymore. If he was trying to get her to stay, he was doing a damn good job of it by opening up to her. All she had wanted from Jax was to be let in. The irony wasn't lost on Tara that it was happening only _after _she had decided it wouldn't work and that she was done.

"When you came home," Jax said, "It was some kind of sign to me."

Tara felt tears prick her eyes, but she swallowed against the lump in her throat. _Say something!_ she screamed at herself, _Stop this torment! _She couldn't take any more of this candid and vulnerable Jax. It was so rare to see him this way and she knew she couldn't fall for it all over again.

Tara looked up into his eyes to see that his were slightly shiny with unshed tears too. Oh _GOD_!

"Like my past coming around, giving me another shot to do this different," Jax murmured, "Better. Now that chance is running back to Chicago."

Tara was silent, listening to him talk. He had always been a smooth talker when he needed to be. He said he wanted to do this different, but the fact of the matter was that he didn't… he didn't make it better. He still slept around. He still was in the club. He was still lying to her and making a fool of her. She couldn't do it again.

Jax looked down at her, his gaze challenging. Challenging her to stay. But she couldn't. Not this time.

"You say you want to do things differently," Tara said in a quiet voice, "But how can you change things if _you _don't change? I will never be okay with you cheating on me, whether you see my face on some other chick or not. I will never be okay with your involvement with the Sons. I will always wonder if you would come home every night."

Jax was silent and Tara finished, "When I was a teen, it was so clear to me when you pledged that I couldn't be a part of the life. And it's clear now. Look at what happened to Donna? I can't do this. And even if I could, I wouldn't want to, no matter how much I love you."

"Which is very much, by the way," she added for good measure.

They stood there for a minute just gazing at each other. Tara stood up on her tiptoes and kissed Jax softly at first, but harder as he began to respond. One last kiss. That was all she could give him. Tara gripped his hair and poured goodbye and 15 years of loving him into that kiss.

She broke it off and then left the room, fighting the tears she felt spilling over her lids.

**So, I kept some things from this conversation that was in the show because it was such an amazing part for these characters. I hope you liked how I tweaked it. Let me know your thoughts by messaging me or reviewing, please!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Update day! I am pulling an all-nighter tonight, so that I can get all my stories updated! Hope you all enjoy them and let me know your thoughts.**

The Return

Chapter 11

Tara

_*****One Year Later*****_

Tara was paged down to the emergency room, probably for a consult of a pregnant mother, panicky about bleeding or gas. It was not always huge emergencies that got her down there, but she had to go in case it was something major.

Tara looked around the ER for a pregnant patient then studied the board and wrinkled her brow in confusion. Not seeing anyone in the ER that required her specialty, she walked to the nearest nurse at the nurses' station and asked, "I was paged?"

The nurse, who was one the phone taking information down pointed towards the waiting room and Tara looked that way and blanched...Jax?

It had been a year since she had left him standing in the little waiting room in Charming. He looked terrible. Ashen, exhausted...he had dark circles under his eyes and he looked like he had aged ten years. He looked dirty and his eyes had no life in them. They looked dead.

Tara had left Charming shortly after that conversation and neither Jax nor Tara had been in touch with one another. Tara had returned to Chicago and picked up the reigns of her new life. She was almost finished with her fellowship and was one her way from becoming a full blown attending.

Jax...well, whatever he had been up to had to be no good. He looked terrible.

"Jax?" she asked once she was close enough, "What are you doing here?"

"Abel," Jax said, his creepy dead eyes focused on her, "He's gone."

"Gone?" Tara asked.

"They took him," Jax stated, his eyes never straying from hers. She was seriously creeped out by him. Tara had never seen him like this.

"Who? Who took him?" Tara asked, her mind going to Child Protective Services...but that seemed unlikely. Jax was many things, but she knew he would be an incredible parent.

"The Irish," Jax stated.

Tara pulled Jax towards a consult room and urged him to sit down.

"I need more than two word answers, Jax," Tara said, "Where is Abel?"

"I… don't know," Jax choked out, "He could be dead for all I know."

Tara shook her head in disbelief and closed her eyes. Nothing was worse torture to a parent than have your child taken and not knowing if they were okay. Or hurt. Or cold. Or hungry. Or dead. No wonder Jax was off the rails.

"I...I don't know what to say," Tara said, softly, grabbing his hands and squeezing them.

Jax looked down and shook his head, "Me neither."

They stood there in silence and Tara wondered why he was in Chicago.

"Can I do something?" she asked uncertainly, wondering if there was some way she could help in this situation that she didn't realize.

Jax looked up into her eyes and shook his head. He looked like he wanted to say something to her, but he held his tongue.

Tara nodded and said, "Have you called the police? The Irish police?"

"It's no good," Jax said softly, swallowing against his tears.

Jax never cried...hardly ever. Seeing him this way brought tears to her eyes.

Tara grabbed his hands again and pulled him to his feet.

"Come with me," Tara said softly. She pulled Jax behind her, not waiting for his response.

Tara led Jax down to her office and grabbed her purse, "Hang out here for one second. I am just going to tell my boss that I am leaving, okay?"

Jax nodded mutely, as if he was confused and in a daze. Hell, there was no doubt about it. He was lost in a daze of confusion and pain at Abel's disappearance. He needed...he needed help. The scary thing was that Tara didn't know how to help him.

Tara covered the rest of her case load for the next couple of days and then went back to her office to find Jax walking around her office, staring at her diploma and her medical awards.

"You should be really proud of yourself," he said, gesturing to her degree.

Tara nodded and said, "I am."

"I am proud of you," Jax said, "I don't think I ever told you that."

Tara smiled and said, "Thank you."

Jax fell silent once more, his mind no doubt going back to Abel.

Tara shrugged out of her lab coat and grabbed her purse and keys.

"Let's get out of here," she said, holding her hand out to Jax which he took immediately.

She still couldn't believe he was here...Tara knew Jax had travelled out of California before, but she doubted he had ever left the east coast.

Jax silently followed her, and when she reached the parking lot she realized that Jax had to have gotten to Chicago somehow.

"How...did you drive?" she asked.

Jax shook his head and said, "Flew."

He flew to Chicago to see her? When his son was missing? Tara just didn't understand.

Tara gestured to her car and unlocked the doors, "Climb in."

Jax seemed to appreciate that Tara was taking charge, because he was in no state of mind to handle decision making.

Tara steered them towards Millennium Park and parked as close as she could get them. Jax looked around in wonder at the skyscrapers and the modern architecture that arched and interwove throughout the park.

Tara led him towards a bench and said, "Hang here for a second."

Jax nodded once more and Tara was starting to get worried that he lost his ability to speak.

Tara walked over to the street vendor and ordered Chicago style hot dogs and fries, along with two sodas. She carefully wound her way through the tourists and Chicago natives cutting through the park and handed Jax his lunch. He looked down at it in confusion and Tara said, "Eat."

Jax nodded and after just the first bite, he practically inhaled the rest of the hot dog and started on the fries. He must have not been eating lately. Tara handed him the rest of her hot dog, which only had one bite of it. He needed it more than her.

Jax and Tara sat and sipped their sodas for a long time.

Jax pointed the straw of his cup towards Cloud Gate structure...also known as the bean, and asked, "What's the deal with that?"

Tara shrugged, "I don't know. Distorts the Chicago skyline, I suppose."

"Does it mean anything?" Jax asked.

"Not to me," Tara answered honestly. It was cool but, "It's just a giant mirrored bean," she finished aloud.

Jax smirked, but it didn't touch his eyes.

"What happened Jax?" Tara asked softly.

"Everything has gone to hell," Jax said honestly.

Tara nodded and asked the question that had been on her tongue since she spotted him the ER.

"Why are you here?" she asked gently, "Not that I am not glad you are here."

"I just...needed to feel better even if it was only a little bit. I feel so...hopeless and alone. Abel...I failed him," Jax finished looking towards a crowd of tourists furiously snapping their pictures with the bean.

"I am so sorry, Jax," Tara whispered, "Can I help? What can I do?"

Jax studied her and said, "I just needed to see someone who makes me...feel something besides angry or sad. Besides Abel, that leaves you."

Tara's heart broke a little bit and then looked down at her hands in her lap.

"I should have left with you," Jax said quietly, almost as if he didn't mean to say it aloud, "All those years ago. When we were kids."

Tara's head snapped up in shock at his admission.

"It could have all gone differently," Jax mused, not looking at her but at the bean.

"Then you wouldn't have Abel," Tara pointed out.

"I don't have him now," Jax said bitterly.

Tara bit her lip and sighed. They sat there in silence and Tara asked, "What's been done to try and see what's happened to Abel?"

Jax shook his head and said, "We have been calling all of our contacts in Ireland and tried to figure out what's happened. I have heard no news."

Tara nodded and said, "You should go there. Track the men down who took him and get him back. If there even a sliver of a chance that he is alive, you need to find him."

Jax looked to Tara and studied her face. She nodded to emphasize her point and Jax looked down and asked, "I am afraid I will go there and find out he has been killed."

"You are afraid of that now," Tara replied, "Never knowing what happened to him will kill you. Get the answer."

Jax nodded and leaned back against the bench.

"I miss you," he said, looking up at her.

"Me too," Tara said, smiling sadly.

"This suits you," Jax said, gesturing around Chicago, "It's so different than what I imagined."

Tara smiled and looked around the park and said, "I like it."

"Even the snow?" he asked with a disbelieving smirk.

"Even the snow," Tara answered, smiling, "It's actually really beautiful here around Christmas. Jax nodded and continued to study the park around them and the buildings towering over them.

Tara stood and said, "You need a place to crash?"

Jax looked at her and nodded, "Until the next flight out of here?"

Tara nodded and gestured to her car and they both walked slowly back to it, holding hands as they walked.

Tara drove Jax to her apartment and gestured to her second bedroom where there was a small bed along with a desk with her research for a clinical trial she was working on. It was somewhat cluttered, but it was comfortable.

"Is this okay?" Tara asked.

Jax nodded and said, "It's great. Thanks Tara."

Tara nodded and said, "I will wake you up in time to take you to the airport."

She closed the door behind Jax as he laid out on the bed and quickly fell asleep.

Tara still didn't know what she could do for him, but she settled on the basics. Feeding him and giving him a place to regroup.

She ignored all the feelings that came up with his return. It wasn't about them. It was about Abel.

**So, let me know your thoughts! I know I did the time jump, but Tara couldn't stay after all that had been said and done between them. Plus I wanted to explore Jax coming to her in Chicago for once.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi everyone! I got a short little post for you here! I want to thank everyone for reading and giving me such amazing feedback. I am always blown away by some of your responses.**

**Hope you all have a great weekend and enjoy!**

The Return

Chapter 12

Jax

Jax woke up to slight movement on the bed next to him and rolled over to Tara sitting on the bed next to him.

"Time to wake up," she said softly, as if he was still asleep, "Your flight is in an hour."

Jax nodded and stretched before sitting up and looking around the sparse guest bedroom before looking back at Tara.

"Thanks for everything," Jax said.

Tara shrugged and said, "It's what we do. We are there for eachother when we need to be."

Jax nodded, trying to remember when he had showed up for Tara and it made him sad that he couldn't remember. Tara was always the one coming through for him.

Jax leaned forward, angling his face to Tara's but she backed up and gently pressed her hand to his chest to keep him at bay. He pulled back, biting his lip as if she had burnt him with her rejection.

"Sorry," Tara mumbled, "I just can't be there for you like _that_."

Jax nodded and said, "I get it." But he didn't. He really didn't. Tara and him were like two parts of a whole. They belonged together, so he didn't understand her reluctance to be with him. He loved her. And if ever he needed her, he needed her right now.

Tara stood and said, "I will be ready to take you to the airport whenever you are ready to go."

She left then and Jax flopped back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to clear his head. He came to Chicago for many things. Clarity was the biggest one. Tara had laid out his path for him. He knew his next steps and that he had to go get Abel. He would find out what happened to his son, otherwise he would never have a moment of peace again.

He wanted Tara to go with him.

Jax got up, slipped his jeans on first and then his tshirt. He smoothed out the bedspread and left the room, trekking through the apartment until he found her in the kitchen sipping a cup of coffee.

She wordlessly poured him a cup and handed it to him.

Jackson leaned against the counter and drank his coffee, studying her.

"Will you come with me?" Jax asked.

"To Ireland?" Tara asked in surprise.

Jax nodded and Tara said, "I don't have a passport."

Jax thought for a minute and then said, "You don't need one the way I am going."

Tara sighed and shook her head, "I can't. You know that."

Jax nodded and they stood there drinking their coffee in silence.

"I am sorry," Jax said, "For what happened with Wendy."

Tara nodded and said, "It's in the past."

"Does that mean I am in the past?" Jax asked in a quiet voice, looking at her.

Tara looked up at him and shook her head, "I don't even know what you mean by that."

"Yes you do," he replied, "I am asking if you are done with me."

Tara looked down and said, "We live really different lives, Jax." That still didn't answer his question.

"If we didn't?" he posed hypothetically.

"I can't even imagine what that would look like, can you?" Tara asked.

Jax imagined if he and Tara were on the same page again. Would he move here? She wouldn't come back to Charming. And she wouldn't tolerate club shit. She was done with that. That was part of the past she had left behind. So that meant Jax would need to go to Chicago or wherever else Tara went.

What would he even do in Chicago? He had a GED. He was a so-so mechanic. Putting it in those terms, he understood what Tara was asking him. How would it work? He could never live off of Tara. He wasn't sexist, but at the same time he wasn't' evolved enough to let her be the only breadwinner.

"I can't imagine," Jax responded finally, "But it doesn't change anything. How much I love you."

Tara couldn't meet his eyes and he knew she was on the verge of crying.

"You have more important things to do than ask what-if questions," Tara murmured as she bolstered her walls and said, "Come on, I'll drive you to the airport."

Tara dumped the rest of her coffee and set the cup in the sink and walked to the hallway leading to her front door.

Jax took another sip, thinking about her words. She was right. He had to find Abel. That was first priority. Then he would deal with the next biggest thing. Getting out. Whatever he found in Ireland, Jax realized he couldn't raise his son in Samcro. He couldn't if kidnapping and murder were possible futures for Abel. And clearly, they were since Abel was missing.

Jax followed Tara out to the hallway and shrugged his jacket on, He followed Tara out to the car and they jumped on the busy freeway towards the airport.

"I am going to get my son," Jax said, looking out the window, "And then I'm coming back here."

Tara was silent and Jax looked to her, "Unless you don't want me to."

Tara looked over at him briefly and then said, "You might change your mind."

"I won't," Jax said certainly. He would find a way out and then find a way to her.

Tara nodded and said, "We'll see."

Jax smirked and looked back out the window. She didn't say no or that she didn't want him.

As they neared the airport, Jax felt the weight of everything he had to do in order to get back here.

He climbed out and Tara got out of the car too. She walked around the car and hugged him and whispered, "Go find him."

Jax only nodded, but he buried his nose in her hair and inhaled deeply.

"I love you, Tara," he whispered, "I always have."

Tara trembled against him and he pulled back and kissed her softly, tucking her hair behind her ear. He whispered, "Thank you," once more before leaving her standing there at the curb.

Tara

Tara watched Jax disappear through the airport doors and into the crowds bustling to make their flights or catch a cab. She couldn't believe the conversation they just had.

Was he serious about leaving Charming? He couldn't be. He had never wanted to leave before.

Tara climbed back in her car and replayed all the conversations they had in the past twenty four hours. He had even admitted he should have followed her when they were teens. He had never even considered that path before to Tara's knowledge.

She wondered if this situation with Abel...poor Abel...she wondered if it had changed Jax and his views on Samcro. It had to. How could it not?

Tara steered towards her apartment, thoughts racing in her head. She tried to picture Jax in Chicago. She had asked him how it would look, and he couldn't even tell her. It was such an odd concept.

Tara parked and walked slowly to her apartment, her mind still wirring.

She went into the kitchen, looking at their coffee cups in the sink. A life with Jax. The truth was, she didn't realistically think it would or could happen. Jax was in so deep with the club. Not only that, but….he had hurt her. So much.

Could she get past it?

Tara looked at the coffee cups in the sink and turned on the hot water, scrubbing the cups out and setting them out on the drying rack to dry.

She flopped on the couch and flipped on the TV, but she didn't focus on what was on. She sat there and thought over everything, over and over again. She tried to evaluate her feelings and there were so many, some she couldn't even identify.

Tara decided to try and pretend the past twenty four hours didn't exist. That Jax had never showed up in Chicago. Whatever came next would be on Jax and not her. It was a cop out, but she was okay with that. More than okay. It let her live her life the way she wanted, on her own terms and not Jax's, or Samcro's, or anyone else's.

**So this is a short post, I just wanted to get something out to you guys! Thanks for reading and please leave a review or a message!**


End file.
